by classthe_king » Jun 13th, '11, 23:49
For future reference just post the shadowville link to the beat. Nobody wants to download the beat just to give you feed.
Geno: You have good rhyming and a good flow but that's about it. You didn't experiment on any rhyme schemes and kept it fairly simple. "Makin the trip again" and "wasted instead of spent" is not a very good rhyme, the stead and trip though it off. You also need to find a good way to wrap up your verse. If this was about your life you need to find some way to creatively finish it and give it a good conclusion. If this was fictional you need to find some creative twist to end your verse with. You would leave the listener feeling unsatisfied. Also, you need to find some other influences besides Eminem. I could practically hear him rapping when I was reading this.
Alieus- I'm assuming your's is a normal sixteen verse and you just structured the end of your verse oddly for some reason. Your multis weren't as structured as Geno's or smooth but they were more creatively placed. Your flow in the begining seemed like it had way too many syllables for the average beat but I don't know how fast you planned on flowing it. Everything I said to Geno about ending the verse also applies to you although you did a better job with it then he did. I still think you could have done better though.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?