An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, What are you in for? To which the he replied, For attempting a forbidden transition.
Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replied, No, but I know where I am.
How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
There is a sign in Munich that says, Heisenberg might have slept here.
Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?
A physics professor, who was teaching a graduate course on superstring theory, decided to add an essay question to this year's final exam. The instructions read, Describe the universe in 400 words or less and give three examples.
(hence the science teacher) But im not in high skool yet, got a lot to learn. But watever 
i understand only one of them 
