Feed me

[UzaKING]

Just wrote today give feedback pls

my tounge hardens/ im spitting shards of toxic rock droplets/
that mock atomic rockets and flock your blocks apartments
I stole your clock and paused it/stuffed you in a box and locked it/
got in my cockpit flew to the dock and tossed it/ cocked my glock and shot it/
bionic bullets topped on a shock cartrage/ sounds far fetched/
not with logic the size of cosmic prophets/
aliens try to cop it and get caught in my progress/
gods try to stop it and get lost in the prospects/
i'll spit raw shit till my jaw softens/
then i'll replace it with miscroscopic sprockets/
switch my tounge with coal and chomp till it hardens/

[gutawafang]

Indirect multis. lacks flow due to not good structure.

[UzaKING]

Ya I have bad structure on everything I write how do I fix this?

[Sunshine_Tony]

slow down and stretch your lines

[gutawafang]

Ya I have bad structure on everything I write how do I fix this?

simple tips:

structure is like a building.

you see bad structure is like a building about to collapse.

see, your structure is bad like,
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how can a buidling balance itself like that?

so a good structure is a firm building like,
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