The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby TheHundred$ » Jul 20th, '10, 17:06

Dude, I'm digging it.

You are talented.

I like the multi's the structure the hook.

Keep doing your thing homeboy
Image
Image

I used to be able to spit
Now I can't even split my lips
to rip this spliff that I lit
User avatar
TheHundred$
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2nd, '10, 18:25

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby Solace » Jul 20th, '10, 21:50

This was great, very impressed by this. If this really does get recorded (seems like everything for you is Detox lol) it would be such a good track.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby Yah-hah » Jul 21st, '10, 01:13

Yeah dude cant wait to hear it recorded. Your best skill is definitly the words and their placement. If I remember right you have a degree in Creative Writing or something to that extent (Which I'm pretty sure is cheating) But its like every word gets put in the perfect spot. The multis are great and I love the rhythm when you go with a

multi....multi
line line line multi

Its a great rhythm and I can hear this going perfectly with a rock beat. Interested in hearin how they do the chorus. Full marks bro
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby Boston » Jul 21st, '10, 02:29

in my opinion this shits much betta than ya otha shit, im fuckin feelin this jus cuz i think theres an actual message ya know, like its not about a 'douchebag' haha. the flow, everything is there. to bad ur not recording it. but damn i wana hear how it wud sounddddd. i havent heard any songs from u in years it seems like. release something that was guna be on ur tape or anything jus to peeeeeep haha

edit: and i noticed u love slant rhymes too haha
Boston
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1251
Joined: Mar 11th, '07, 16:35

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby gutawafang » Jul 22nd, '10, 04:49

Vocabulary stands out the most here man. I don't understand the flow.

Multis are very unique. Nice rhyme pattern. Hook is simple but on point.

Overall, I enjoyed it because of vocabulary.
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby Robbie G » Jul 23rd, '10, 16:12

I liked it. It will be interesting to hear you over a rockish beat. :y:
User avatar
Robbie G
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9138
Joined: Jun 25th, '07, 03:04
Location: USA
Gender: Male

Re: Unhinged - Full song (2 verses + hook)

Postby Flamez » Jul 25th, '10, 22:37

that was pretty good man, this sure is something i will be looking forward to hearing.. haven't heard from you in a long time :p
Image
User avatar
Flamez
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 5673
Joined: Sep 6th, '06, 15:55
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users