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Put It On (Full song)

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Put It On (Full song)

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 4th, '10, 21:42

I was inspired by Peace_Maker's "The Finest" so I decided to write 3 new verses to Put It On,as if I was Big L...



Verse 1:
I'm a peace keeper,on a mission with my street sweeper
Quick cheetah,bitch beater,making sure your peeps deleted
Watch out G,'fore I deprive you of your life
Fucking with me is like taking a spoon on a knife
You know I be in your stereo inspecting ya tape-deck
Your rhymes don't make sense like rejecting ya paycheck
I'm a mic controller,you just a mic constipator
You know me...kill now,ask questions later
The rhyme investigator,the one and only undisputed
You're more obsolete than a Spectrum ZX computer
You offering a truce? I'm not interested
Everybody got the L syndrome,your bitch infected
My rhymes are metaphysical,leaving crews very critical
Everybody gotta hear it

Hook...

Verse 2:
Big L be taking more shots then a Polaroid
The last cat that listened to my album overdosed
Walk in to a bar and leave everybody murdered
My shit was a classic before anybody heard it
Everybody know that L is mentally unstable
They say I once lost...that shit was just a fable
I'll leave an MC ripped apart,hang him by his bowels
Talk about buying houses,you couldn't buy a vowel
I attract more listeners than a cell key does prisoners
You raps is ridiculous,my raps is conspicuous
Let me get in detail how my rhymes prevail
Rap is a boat and for you the ship's sailed
You little shit stain could never beat the legend
L'll take you on a trip to heaven

Hook...
Jamaican mumbling LOL

Verse 3:
I'll punch you so hard I'll leave your kids deformed
My album didn't come out but it's already sold out in the stores
I rhyme unpredictable,the shit's so despicable
My lyrical ability sends to clinical facilities
I put you in a state of deterioration
I'm the chief of wack rapper interrogation
Big L is the master,why all the player hating?
If you're a rap God,then fuck it,I'm Satan
Leave you abandoned,run you over like a stampede
Big L is the rapper that you can't see,actually
I'm so far ahead of you rappers
That if I said a punchline now,in 5 years you would get it
I kill at will,you think I'm kidding still?
Wait til I put it on...

Definitely my best flowing piece yet. :whistle:
Last edited by ThomasJ on Aug 5th, '10, 20:07, edited 1 time in total.
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 5th, '10, 20:09

Ƨteven© wrote:First of all: LMAO AT THE HOOK.

Great concept, you got some dope punches in there.

wordplay was really neat too.

the 'Kids deformed line' was impressive lmao.


good flow.


dope as fuck DJ TJ. :smoking:

LOL Thanks homie,I tried to make the punchlines as much as Big L as I could...
And IDK what's funny about the hook,I wrote "Hook..." 'cause I was too lazy to copy the real hook in here LOL
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 5th, '10, 20:12

Oh LOL
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby Peace_Maker » Aug 6th, '10, 08:01

Too long to really break down but I thought it showed promise. Some parts, such as the begging of the 2nd verse didn't have matching end rhymes. You're punches were pretty close to Big L's style. You're rhyme scheme wasn't nearly as close but it takes a while to be able to copy rhymes schemes. Here's the one he's famous for

.......________, .........._________
.............................._________

Big L:
Glamour and glitz, I plan to get rich
I'm from New York and never was a fan of the Knicks

Me:
I'm very nice, I bury mics
I get my point across, ask the dudes who buried Christ


But overall I really liked it. Mine was more of a copy, yours was more of an homage. Keep it up.
Your brain is child's play to manipulate.
XRay's Album Cover
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 6th, '10, 12:29

Wow,thanks bro.
Yeah,I mostly focused on the punchlines...
Cheers for the feed mate. :y:
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
ThomasJ
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Re: Jiafei eyeful

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 6th, '10, 12:37

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Granny Jia, Ms. Wang: "The day I go there cheap wow gold not only get to see group's base, scarcely managed to travel national today wow power leveling Wives of a module, do not laugh, and jazz actually started to cry. for a individual I went to, they do wow account not know many to move sooner or afterwards!

Wow,thanks for the feed. :worship:
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
ThomasJ
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby Robbie G » Aug 6th, '10, 13:24

Good stuff bro, you had some nice punches in there. :y:

Oh, and the chorus was dope. :b:
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Re: Put It On (Full song)

Postby ThomasJ » Aug 6th, '10, 13:31

Robbie G wrote:Good stuff bro, you had some nice punches in there. :y:

Oh, and the chorus was dope. :b:

LMFAO,thanks for the feed. :flower:
...The mortician of love, sent from above
Forced entry, the more wenchy, the more stingy I become
Been doing this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb...
ThomasJ
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