never gone (feedback appreciated)

[tjb]

I'm too ill for this game like i live in an egg carton
spit rhymes like spearheads tossed by a dead spartan
my goals to burn this whole world, like compressed carbon
go and fertalize my mind with some dope from the dro garden
high as the moon, like im stuck smoking blunts in a crater
rooms spinning, im finished like i just been struck by a raider
im sacked but when im back,ill float down to a sky scraper
to ten to nine stories and so on i soooo made it
im thee favorite, like i got edge going in
fuck the haters this my revenge dont pretend,
that half of you even gonna come close to my shit
cuz im gonna be the only one still floatin, in this ocean of shit,
cuz i wont go an quit im gunna flip these rhymes till I die
still screaming 6 feet under, throat to feet paralyzed
cant ever cut this cord, like you cant ev-er yank mine
and if you do ill drop a mic from heaven im never saying goodbye

[tjb]

Immortal technique hasn't been relevant since 2002.

whatchu talkin bout willis?

[Weather Man]

Good flow, good structure, really nice piece here.. give it a 5/5...

[Rain Matrix]

ok piece, but you could of switched up between rhymes better

[tjb]

ok piece, but you could of switched up between rhymes better

whatd you mean?