Innovation feat. Liquid - Hip-Hop

[Innovation]

Another collab, this time with Liquid (C.R.E.A.M).

Subject matter is passion for hip-hop.

Finally starting to knock together verses a bit quicker and easier. Still working on rhyme transition.

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=105467

(Innovation)
When people say "Hip-hop takes no talent", I laugh at them,
Reply "yeah, you're right" with the utmost amount of sarcasm,
Because, artists like Sadistik have lyrics you can't fathom,
You can't comprehend the skill it takes when crafting 'em,
You know a lot about rhyming? Ever heard of slanting one?
Nah, didn't think so. Your ignorance has got us laughing son!
Like a greyhound every artist wants to open with a flying start,
Trying to prove to everyone, this genre is far from a dying art,
Fight the ignorance on every occasion, until the sirens start,
Pounce at any competition with the bravery of a lions heart,
We'll forever fix the pieces to hip-hop's dying parts,
We'll always have an objective, like a flying dart

(Liquid)
These hip hop veterans are stronger than Shakesphere
This real lyricism is really driving me Crae-zy
I'm going to extend My Life with money so pay me
To go to the Music store and buy me a CD of Jay-Z
And i ain't gotta worry about no group to embrace me
Rap is how i Learn , so i Study about Daily
This art really knew how it could save me
with hope i inspire people to be like Ice-T
I might be dumb but i'm smart when i'm doing this
I get the inspiration and some dope ideas & concepts
That i don't get in real life, is it about This Art ?
Hip Hop is a life style you do to Express-Thoughts
When my life really get on my nerves and piss-me-off
I put my soul on my pen and write until my arm stops
I'm sorry bitches , Hip Hop is my love so this cock
gonna keep fucking with it until my life Tick's-Off

[Innovation]

Wow, like i said man your multi's are fucking class
dope shit man

Cheers for the kind words man.

Your verse was much better than your previous ones, you've put much more emphasis on multi's.

[Edge]

Nice verses... innovation I liked urs and u had some nice punchlines in there. Nice multis too, u have a similar style to a lot of my shit. Cream, urs was good and thebest iv read of all urs but idk if its different accents or w.e but to me some lines didn't rhyme. Over all good two verses. Keep at it

[Edge]

word its right here in bold im talking about, maybe u could clarify

These hip hop veterans are stronger than Shakesphere
This real lyricism is really driving me Crae-zy
I'm going to extend My Life with money so pay me
To go to the Music store and buy me a CD of Jay-Z
And i ain't gotta worry about no group to embrace me
Rap is how i Learn , so i Study about Daily
This art really knew how it could save me
with hope i inspire people to be like Ice-T
I might be dumb but i'm smart when i'm doing this
I get the inspiration and some dope ideas & concepts
That i don't get in real life, is it about This Art ?
Hip Hop is a life style you do to Express-Thoughts
When my life really get on my nerves and piss-me-off
I put my soul on my pen and write until my arm stops
I'm sorry bitches , Hip Hop is my love so this cock
gonna keep fucking with it until my life Tick's-Off

[Maybe]

First verse: For starters the content is pretty good, and the vocabulary matches the message you're trying to get across. I actually think it's close to excellence, but you're holding yourself back with a choppy feel to the flow. Don't get me wrong, it flows. I'm not saying it doesn't; the problem is it feels forced, like most of the words should be located in different sections of the bar. It's really not a hard fix, because editing would be pretty easy. Overall 8/10, you just need to adjust the structure so it flows smoother. Also, it wouldn't hurt to work on some internal rhymes, that way you could put less emphasis on the rhymes that end the bar (and generally hold the piece together).

Second verse: I see what you're trying to do with your rhymes, and I commend your experimentation. Most people frown upon extension. The problem I have with the verse is mainly a lack of internals, and since the only "main" rhymes I'm relying on when reading are sometimes too simple, it really takes away from the otherwise fine content. I'm not saying you need a million multies (I don't put a lot in my stuff), but here's a good example:

Sometimes, I wish that I could pause and adapt...
or build a time machine and find the peace I lost in the past...'

I don't use those rhymes everywhere, but it occasionally helps smooth things over and makes topics a lot of people cover more interesting.

[Innovation]

First verse: For starters the content is pretty good, and the vocabulary matches the message you're trying to get across. I actually think it's close to excellence, but you're holding yourself back with a choppy feel to the flow. Don't get me wrong, it flows. I'm not saying it doesn't; the problem is it feels forced, like most of the words should be located in different sections of the bar. It's really not a hard fix, because editing would be pretty easy. Overall 8/10, you just need to adjust the structure so it flows smoother. Also, it wouldn't hurt to work on some internal rhymes, that way you could put less emphasis on the rhymes that end the bar (and generally hold the piece together).

Second verse: I see what you're trying to do with your rhymes, and I commend your experimentation. Most people frown upon extension. The problem I have with the verse is mainly a lack of internals, and since the only "main" rhymes I'm relying on when reading are sometimes too simple, it really takes away from the otherwise fine content. I'm not saying you need a million multies (I don't put a lot in my stuff), but here's a good example:

Sometimes, I wish that I could pause and adapt...
or build a time machine and find the peace I lost in the past...'

I don't use those rhymes everywhere, but it occasionally helps smooth things over and makes topics a lot of people cover more interesting.

Thanks for the feedback bro. I'll work on internals in my next verse.

Thanks again for the feedback, it's much appreciated!

[Maybe]

Anytime. Overall, 8/10 for the song, though.

[Edge]

First verse: For starters the content is pretty good, and the vocabulary matches the message you're trying to get across. I actually think it's close to excellence, but you're holding yourself back with a choppy feel to the flow. Don't get me wrong, it flows. I'm not saying it doesn't; the problem is it feels forced, like most of the words should be located in different sections of the bar. It's really not a hard fix, because editing would be pretty easy. Overall 8/10, you just need to adjust the structure so it flows smoother. Also, it wouldn't hurt to work on some internal rhymes, that way you could put less emphasis on the rhymes that end the bar (and generally hold the piece together).

Second verse: I see what you're trying to do with your rhymes, and I commend your experimentation. Most people frown upon extension. The problem I have with the verse is mainly a lack of internals, and since the only "main" rhymes I'm relying on when reading are sometimes too simple, it really takes away from the otherwise fine content. I'm not saying you need a million multies (I don't put a lot in my stuff), but here's a good example:

Sometimes, I wish that I could pause and adapt...
or build a time machine and find the peace I lost in the past...'

I don't use those rhymes everywhere, but it occasionally helps smooth things over and makes topics a lot of people cover more interesting.

That's the best feed iv ever seen on this site lol feed one of my pieces if u have a chance