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Dear Anonymous (Metaphor Story Type Ish)

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Dear Anonymous (Metaphor Story Type Ish)

Postby _Steven_ » Apr 18th, '11, 03:30

Dear Anonymous just let me get a second to
Set with you, let's talk about whatever got the best of you
Was it a lack of sleep, or searchin for friendship?
Or a combination of the two and the burden that bred it
Maybe it's your town, where they heard and they spread it
Never learned to forget it, a bit too churlish to end it
Couldn't let you be yourself, so they pulled you to their level
And beat you with experience at dealin with the devil
They slipped you that rope out but the hole got deeper
These walls rose steeper, hope for escape grew meager
Deteriorated features but the cat stayed in the bag
Your family, your friends, they all just thought you were sad
Until that burnt foil, went and foiled your plot
They cornered you all together, brought your joy to a stop
They took away that rope, and they stored it at the top
The hole disappeared but the weather was too hot
These harsh realities of life, were never gonna stop
So you grabbed a pencil, and made a letter on the spot
It read "you've taken my rope, just know that I love you"
So you aimed for a spot, and dug your hole with a shovel
Wrists cut through, knives and bloodiest tissue
But there's no metaphor for how much we all miss you


It's just a rough draft after like 27 minutes but I figure I could record it and make 2 verses to record it if received well.
Image

Put the earphones on and made the bitch Def Jam
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Re: Dear Anonymous (Metaphor Story Type Ish)

Postby classthe_king » Apr 18th, '11, 03:53

Great story, and what you were saying in the lyrics were great, didn't find any flaws in the flow either. Rhyming wasn't very good though.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: Dear Anonymous (Metaphor Story Type Ish)

Postby ArsheyHaq » Apr 18th, '11, 06:00

This was spectacular work! :y: I'm a fan of personal pieces, so I definitely enjoyed how well this delivered :) Everything was on point, even the rhyming.. It started off kinda slow, but it picked up during the middle and the rhyming got better as well. Some of my fav. lines:

"The hole disappeared but the weather was too hot
These harsh realities of life, were never gonna stop
So you grabbed a pencil, and made a letter on the spot
It read "you've taken my rope, just know that I love you"
So you aimed for a spot, and dug your hole with a shovel
Wrists cut through, knives and bloodiest tissue
But there's no metaphor for how much we all miss you"

and

Was it a lack of sleep, or searchin for friendship?
Or a combination of the two and the burden that bred it
Maybe it's your town, where they heard and they spread it
Never learned to forget it, a bit too churlish to end it"

The internals and multis on there were impressive. Good work, hope you stick around to post more often :wave:
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