Homophobic (Freestyle)

[Man1x]

Okay before I begin. I wrote this on the spot and am just writing whatever came to my head, please leave suggestions and reviews.

Ya, I'm homophobic and I'm just expressing my mind/
Cause between you and me a fag is a undiseired find/
The way I'm saying it I'm being exceptionally kind/
I have mastered inception of the dreams/
Turned myself into a bastard of deception it seems/
Cock likers put thier dicks into anything they deems/
Worthy, hearing their orgasms wakes me up early/
Bearing fare, staring scared at my friend wearing Hurley/
Surely he is not gay/
Never thought tha way/
Til I saw him sway/
On a dick/
But no matter what dey gay/


Okay I know it is not good in any strech of the imagination, bad concept, bad lyrics, not many multis, and rhyme scheme that is all over the place. That's why I'm asking for help.

PS - I'm not homophobic.

[ArsheyHaq]

You're on the right track. Just keep practicing. Some of the lines surprised me (in a good way). "Expressing my mind" and "exceptionally kind" <--good multi right there Some of your others seemed too forced though like "bearing fare" and "staring scared". I'm not exactly sure what bearing fare even means..?

Anyway, it seems like you might be kind of new to writing rhymes (correct me if I'm wrong), but you've already got the gist of it, seems like. Your rhymes were pretty straightforward, meaning you didn't have to butcher the pronunciation at all to make it rhyme. That's good, and way better than me when I first started haha.

BUT it kinda trailed off for the worse at the end. This was God awful:

Surely he is not gay/
Never thought tha way/
Til I saw him sway/
On a dick/
But no matter what dey gay/

haha sorry...

Keep posting. I'll try to always feed.

[Man1x]

Haha thanks, yaa some of these lines were force and I am a new writer... I only gave this 5 minutes of time. Thanks for the imput And, the ending was bad, just was trying to sum it up.

I understand the concept of multis but any suggestions on making them longer and generating them better would be great. Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks for input

[Man1x]

Oh and I no one has mentioned this but the homophobic based subject is only to bring shock value and attract views. It's not me

[ArsheyHaq]

The only advice I can give for coming up with multies is forget how a word is spelled. Once you do that, you'll learn not to look at the letters anymore, and instead you'll focus on the sounds. Hope that helps

And good for you on letting everyone know this is just a concept rap and not actually what you believe. People here might take subject matter literal, and to heart.

[Man1x]

Thanks, I'll try that for future multis

[Man1x]

Thanks CREAM, I've seen you on a lot of forms and I just want you to know I think your a solid dude