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VBV - Go To Hell

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Re: VBV - Go To Hell

Postby VenomBlackViper » Jul 2nd, '11, 13:35

Edited this a bit to make some punches better.
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Re: VBV - Go To Hell

Postby EyeQ200 » Jul 2nd, '11, 13:39

This is great, kept the theme going, it got "weaker" towards the end but i wouldn't say that it "fell off" because you came with the heat all the way through.
The only thing i can say i wasn't a fan of, was the last line, it wasn't the line itself, but it just didn't seem to end the verse right, if you understand what i'm getting at? It was more of a mid-verse rhyme, rather than something to wrap a verse up with, other than that, keep at it :b:
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Re: VBV - Go To Hell

Postby VenomBlackViper » Jul 2nd, '11, 13:43

EyeQ200 wrote:This is great, kept the theme going, it got "weaker" towards the end but i wouldn't say that it "fell off" because you came with the heat all the way through.
The only thing i can say i wasn't a fan of, was the last line, it wasn't the line itself, but it just didn't seem to end the verse right, if you understand what i'm getting at? It was more of a mid-verse rhyme, rather than something to wrap a verse up with, other than that, keep at it :b:


I get what you mean, it didn't seem like a good end line it seemed better as a highlight punchline rather than at the end. It's weird because when I wrote that line it seemed like a great ending line to me.
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Re: VBV - Go To Hell

Postby EyeQ200 » Jul 2nd, '11, 13:49

It grew on me after another read, i think it would depend on how you deliver it in all honesty :y:
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