A Vision

[yamahiney16]

A rage is what's on this page, i scream that i can't hold back! It's taking over now. The blood splatters against the wall, knife all covered in blood. It's pouring now and all i want is more..can't you help me? Can't you answer my prayers? My fears becoming a reality, once, twice, kill number three? I can't stop, it won't let me! The adreneline rush is too high, it has me in a choke hold and i can't back out. The only way to move is forward. I plunge the knife again and again. I see now what i've become, what i can become. I can't breathe! No longer alive, no longer dead. I close my eyes and open them to find what seemed like reality was only a dream..

[Innovation]

Is this a poem? I assume it is based on the rhyming. It's decent, you have the concept down but you just need to structure it. Not bad at all though - I like the little twist at the end. Just in your next piece structure your work so it's easier to read and flows better.

[yamahiney16]

Thanks man, i'll remember that

[Sam.]

please edit that and restructure it cant read properly