Some Strength Left

[Static]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=118932&p=1694883#p1694883

The song pretty much explains itself. The flow might seem weird, but that's because I go a bit faster at some places and take a little break here and there. So don't comment about the flow for now, you can do that if/after I record it. My question for now is basically; do you think it's worth recording?

(Chorus:)
Life is hard, it will always be/
Why do these walls keep falling on me/
But life, you have one thing left to see/
There's still some strength left in me/

(Verse 1:)
I have been through it all, lived by Murphy's Law/
Since birth I've crawled, therefore I'm murky raw/
Working at the school of hard knocks, my community service/
Where I'm so much out of body that I enter funerals nervous/
I've always seemed to see the seamy side of life/
It's even in it's name, it's screaming see-me(seamy), right?/
I've been there with the knife, sayin' I'm leaving tonight/
As retreaving out ain't easy when decieving bite/
Believing this evening might be the last one for me then/
If I got one wish I would be passed out and bleeding/
Cause weaving through and getting past grieving/
Is more breathtaking and backbreaking than just leaving/
Meaning I wanted to vanish from existance/
Why not have my wrist slit, to manage to resist it/
Isn't worth it, or is it? Can't get worse than this shit/
I've payed this earth my vist, and now I'm 'bout to burst (explicit!)/
Where shall my fist hit, I ain't going to miss it/
I'm out of this prison, so this is where it ends bitch/
Don't creep up on me cause I can sense it/
With my experience you should fear my intense hits/

(Chorus)

(Verse 2:)
What I got in return is that I'm on top of the world/
I feel like I can make a tornado fucking stop in it's turns/
And I'ma try to stay this way 'till I'm rocking my urn/
All my fucking concerns, I let them rotten and burn/
No wait - life, be a little cruel/
Please feed me the fuel, and lead me to a duel/
Don't rest, do your best, to fire up my engine/
Hold a lighter to my chest to annoy me while I'm benching/
Stir up some tension, blur my comprehension/
Tell me why to write, then throw in dynamite (*boom*)/

(Chorus x2)

[ArsheyHaq]

Bro, I don't know how this has not gotten any feedback. Just goes to show that true talent is being ignored on this board.

The flow was pretty awesome at times (I know you said not to talk about flow, but I actually liked yours ) I liked the first verse better than the first. Maybe that's because it was longer, so I had more time to actually get into it/feel it. The rhyming was cool, and I can see this being executed audio-wise very easily cuz the words flow oh so smooth at times. Like here:

"I've been there with the knife, sayin' I'm leaving tonight/
As retreaving out ain't easy when decieving bite/
Believing this evening might be the last one for me then/
If I got one wish I would be passed out and bleeding/
Cause weaving through and getting past grieving/
Is more breathtaking and backbreaking than just leaving/"

Felt a little like 'Going Through Changes' there, so I guess that's a plus.

And to answer your question, YES! Definitely record.

[Sam.]

(Chorus:)
Life is hard, it will always be/
Why do these walls keep falling on me/
But life, you have one thing left to see/
There's still some strength left in me/

(Verse 1:)
I have been through it all, lived by Murphy's Law/
Since birth I've crawled, therefore I'm murky raw/
Working at the school of hard knocks, my community service/
Where I'm so much out of body that I enter funerals nervous/
I've always seemed to see the seamy side of life/
It's even in it's name, it's screaming see-me(seamy), right?/
I've been there with the knife, sayin' I'm leaving tonight/
As retreaving out ain't easy when decieving bite/
Believing this evening might be the last one for me then/
If I got one wish I would be passed out and bleeding/
Cause weaving through and getting past grieving/
Is more breathtaking and backbreaking than just leaving/
Meaning I wanted to vanish from existance/
Why not have my wrist slit, to manage to resist it/
Isn't worth it, or is it? Can't get worse than this shit/
I've payed this earth my vist, and now I'm 'bout to burst (explicit!)/
Where shall my fist hit, I ain't going to miss it/
I'm out of this prison, so this is where it ends bitch/
Don't creep up on me cause I can sense it/
With my experience you should fear my intense hits/

(Chorus)

(Verse 2:)
What I got in return is that I'm on top of the world/
I feel like I can make a tornado fucking stop in it's turns/
And I'ma try to stay this way 'till I'm rocking my urn/
All my fucking concerns, I let them rotten and burn/
No wait - life, be a little cruel/
Please feed me the fuel, and lead me to a duel/
Don't rest, do your best, to fire up my engine/
Hold a lighter to my chest to annoy me while I'm benching/
Stir up some tension, blur my comprehension/
Tell me why to write, then throw in dynamite (*boom*)/

(Chorus x2)

the flow is not weird at all bra stop hating on that and what a verse sounded so simple but if read properly the real meaning comes out ,i liked the rhyming on this one nothing seemed forced moving on see the lines in itslics seemed like fillers to me and i did not like it at all .

I could even imagine a beat in my mind for this and shit fits perfect for it imma hit you up with that beat later.