The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.
Board index ‹ Creative Central ‹ Creative Writing ‹ Struggle for Survival

Struggle for Survival

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.
Post a reply

Re: Struggle for Survival

Postby PeNGuiN ZoMbiE » Aug 6th, '11, 18:34

i like the concept you were going for. but along the way you sacrificed rhyming and flow. as in when you change over to another rhyme scheme it isnt smooth. perhaps im not flowing it right but this is my two pennies :y:
PeNGuiN ZoMbiE
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Jul 24th, '11, 03:17
Top

Re: Struggle for Survival

Postby J.R. » Aug 6th, '11, 22:56

Lost your flow towards the end, otherwise, pretty dope drop.
:y:
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male
Top
Post a reply

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Designed by Zoom dinosaurs
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group