The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby J.R. » Aug 26th, '11, 23:05

Mind Lapse- Ft. Master Chief


[Verse 1- Bshady]
Sometimes, man, you feel like you've been disregarded and forgotten,
and "one time fans" or single followers, as you may call them, are plottin,
to take over mainstream and decide what's hot and what's not,
Where the cool artists go, and where the dope ones get dropped,
They get signed for beats and hooks, we get dumped for lyricism,
I've been forgotten again, look, quitting isn't a heroism,
But I'm tempted to give in, I've been forgot and left behind,
Ain't got money for my baby tot, terrible state of mind,
And the thoughts in that brain? Here I go, stating mine,
Sought out the fame, now i gotta act like your hatin's fine,
and it does bother me I'm no longer remembered for bring lyrical talent back,
This game fathered me, now it dismembered my brain, want out of this "rap"
And you know man, I'm not the type to quit or lose myself,
And I'm not about to go main, I'm not about to choose the wealth,
But you know, it's hard to keep up to all these talent less fucks,
Wiz , Wayne, ain't got no game, how do they make the bucks?
Fuck you all I got lyrical trinity and chief , I pay my bills,
Plenty of sins in me, oh shit this is 18 bars, chief spit your deal..






[Verse 2- Chief]
I fucking hate everyone, at this point I'm a ticking bomb
Sometimes the fricking wall isn't enough, I wanna hit my mom
Everyone's harrassing me, asking me this and that
"Yo homey can you spit a rap?", well... I could kick your ass
Split ya back in half, slit you with splinters, sticks and glass
Then leave you in the dumpster next to shit and trash
Cause I remember very well of when I was an outsider
But now I am... a foul rider and my style's tighter
On top of that my sound's fire, but back in middle school
I was that random, goofy little dude who just isn't cool
Ironically now is when I'm feeling even more forgot about
Wanna escape but it seems like even music is not a route
People tell me I'm lost but how? I'm locked in a house
It's called sanity, I'm IN it, and nobody's gotten out
But at least inside here, I never feel no anger
Things change when you're stuck inside a cold chamber...



[Verse 3- Bshady]
Cold chamber? Frozen in time with anger, Lost inside of my brain,
Not a banger, ain't no fucking gamer, how come when I write I'm lame?
You must have long term memory loss to forget me, I'm less than sane,
Cause I proved it by sticking my dick in you, And played you like a game,
And when I spit my verse, they gonna have to carry you away,
Take you off in a hearse, but shit today it ain't the same,
You got a better beat, I got better lyrics, guess who wins?
I'm facing the heat from these forgetful kids, I'm where rap begins
And my own lover called, she forgot my name again,
Invited my mother over, went into the wrong house, and made a new friend,
Some days are just longer than others, Arshey callin me a downward spiral of sadness,
That's cause these fuckers forgetting me , Talking about money, I'm the one who has it!
Oh well, guess I have to relate to you people, gonna go listen to those faggots,
And then practice my beats, yeah, fuck all this motherfucking rap shit..



(Talking..)
But before we go,
One last act for the show..




[Verse 4- Chief= Bold, Shady= Regular]
Chief they forget about us like we didn't do shit,
Like I didn't bust my nuts, to become a number one hit,
And In my slumber and shit, I can't find peace and quiet,
from all these thoughts, mentally in the middle of a riot,
These dreams that I sought, made people lose interest,
The schemes that I fought, always got told it was just business,
and now they've forgotten who Bshady is?
Well, ima drop the mic and forget why I live.

Might as well, because... I'm finally getting the clue
I can tell that I'm no one soon as I exit the booth
I just picked a beat and got on my arsonist shit
And they say it's "easy to remember, hard to forget"
But unfortunately for me that works both ways
I'm sure my life wouldn't be altered if I had no name
But all I really came to say is... I relate to Dre
Hate fuels me and forgetting is just another way to hate
Last edited by J.R. on Aug 26th, '11, 23:14, edited 2 times in total.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby Mahmoud48 » Aug 26th, '11, 23:07

cute song lyrics always cute and on point
ODD FUTURE ASAP OVOXO BLACK HIPPY GOOD MUSIC
User avatar
Mahmoud48
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2508
Joined: Jul 17th, '10, 03:40
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby Master Chief » Aug 26th, '11, 23:10

Mahmoud48 wrote:cute song lyrics always cute and on point

Thank you, we appreciate it. I'm glad somebody noticed that our intentions were to make the cutest song ever.

There is no possible way anybody could give any better feedback but we'll accept some more.

EDIT: B, you posted one of my verse twice. One of 'em is the first version, I made (1st verse). The other is the final and better version (the 3rd verse). I didn't end it the same on purpose lol :sweating:
Last edited by Master Chief on Aug 26th, '11, 23:12, edited 1 time in total.
Image

Satirical Graphitical Productions.
User avatar
Master Chief
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3891
Joined: Dec 8th, '10, 23:38
Location: Where?
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby J.R. » Aug 26th, '11, 23:11

Master Chief wrote:
Mahmoud48 wrote:cute song lyrics always cute and on point

Thank you, we appreciate it. I'm glad somebody noticed that our intentions were to make the cutest song ever.

There is no possible way anybody could give any better feedback but we'll accept some more.

This.

And you realize, I was the biggest prick whilst writing this. Chief had his done in about...2 weeks. Mine? around 4. :laughing:



Master Chief wrote:
EDIT: B, you posted one of my verse twice. One of 'em is the first version, I made (1st verse). The other is the final and better version (the 3rd verse). I didn't end it the same on purpose lol :sweating:


Yeah, forgot for a second I was the only person with 2 verses...and didn't read yours til it was in my notepad, slipped my mind. Thanks. :y: fixed
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby J.R. » Aug 27th, '11, 00:57

I'd also like to point out that Chief totally owned me on this track. :worship:
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby ArsheyHaq » Aug 27th, '11, 01:29

Pretty depressing stuff...

MasterChief, I don't know what to tell you really. You know what you're doing, and seem to have a good grasp on getting a message across. I liked your rhymes and flow a lot. Good work :y: B.Nutz is right, he definitely got out-shined on this one. This would have to be my favorite part from you just because it flowed soo effortlessly, with some exceptional rhyming:

"Everyone's harrassing me, asking me this and that
"Yo homey can you spit a rap?", well... I could kick your ass
Split ya back in half, slit you with splinters, sticks and glass
Then leave you in the dumpster next to shit and trash
Cause I remember very well of when I was an outsider
But now I am... a foul rider and my style's tighter
On top of that my sound's fire"

Only thing I can say, if you wanna improve even more, is try stepping up the vocab a tad. Maybe even try some longer multies to challenge yourself?

B.Nutz, you mention in the rap that I told you that you sound like a "downward spiral of sadness". It's true, and this piece confirms it. I think you need a change in material, quick! Or become more versatile because rhyming about the same stuff is not going to interest your readers/listeners. Also, ever since you came on this site I haven't seen you improve much, or even try to. Try the same advice I gave MasterChief and it should help you expand your skill. And one more thing:

"Chief they forget about us like we didn't do shit,
Like I didn't bust my nuts, to become a number one hit"

Are you saying you're a 'number one hit'? Cuz you're not...you're a writer on an internet forum. This kinda living-in-your-own-fantasy stuff would turn a lot of readers, including me, off. It's just fake, Rick Ross type shit. Sorry if I sound like a prick, but I'm just relaying what a lot of others have been thinking/saying. I'm honestly just trying to help.
ArsheyHaq
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 289
Joined: Jan 21st, '11, 22:21

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby J.R. » Aug 27th, '11, 01:32

Write real shit, and the number 1 hit line was a reference to sex....Hence the bust a nut line,

Complicated things I use to do, probably won't make sense to anyone.

I don't like doing anything but sad tracks, unless it's a collab. Sue me. :wave:

Hey yo, Go check out Mind lapse
Oh no, Chief killed me on my Track
-Random shit.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby WakeUpShow » Aug 28th, '11, 02:12

MasterChief, great verses man your flow was on point, the lines were nice and concise and the rhymes were very natural.

BNutz, ummm your rhyming is verryyyy simple. And your lines were way too long, so the flow wasn't bad....it was virtually NONEXISTENT. I'm sorry but I couldn't really make it through all of your stuff. It got boring real quick.
User avatar
WakeUpShow
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3168
Joined: Apr 17th, '10, 17:13
Location: America
Gender: Female

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby Master Chief » Aug 29th, '11, 00:28

Thanks, my peoples. We appreciate it.
Image

Satirical Graphitical Productions.
User avatar
Master Chief
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3891
Joined: Dec 8th, '10, 23:38
Location: Where?
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby EyeQ200 » Aug 29th, '11, 13:17

I don't know if anybody else noticed, but did MasterChiefs first verse remind you of Eminem? Just certain parts like 'Sticks and glass' and 'my styles tighter' just heard them in em's voice.. not that it's a bad thing, it was pretty well written, and same goes for you BShady, good peice here from both of you :y:
Fuck a sig, i go accapella.
User avatar
EyeQ200
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 387
Joined: May 1st, '11, 19:43

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby J.R. » Aug 29th, '11, 20:09

Thanks. :y:
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Mind Lapse Ft. MasterChief

Postby EyeQ200 » Aug 29th, '11, 22:21

You changed your name, right?
Fuck a sig, i go accapella.
User avatar
EyeQ200
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 387
Joined: May 1st, '11, 19:43


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users