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Dire Costs

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Dire Costs

Postby Jdubem » Oct 13th, '11, 23:00

Im taking this bitch down, you better duck for cover
I turn the saying around, Im a fighter not a lover
Yeah fuck with me and no matter what the cost is dire
I dont care if your wife and kids are in the crossfire
You cant be more cold, Im worse than Tony Montana
I survived the north pole and managed to kill Santa
My characters horrendous, I got a tremendous amount of spite
I make it seem like the Nazis found the light
You cant beat my rhymes, they're incredible, hilarious
So repeat after me and try and live vicarious
Or I can destroy you with these rhymes that I utter
I'll doom and gloom your world, turn you into a cutter
I'll make you feel lost in the world like some emo kid whos sad
And you'll never be found like Nemo'd be without his dad
I think I was put here to refresh us with adversity
So while I'm at it I'll say fuck your precious diversity

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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Jdubem » Oct 15th, '11, 01:52

feedback?
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Sam. » Oct 15th, '11, 14:25

Read the Rules :
Feed others and get one in return.

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=131175
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Jdubem » Oct 16th, '11, 16:20

bump
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby mdemaz » Oct 16th, '11, 16:29

Pretty cool, but you may need to step up the technical aspect of your lyrics.

Not much more I can say, cool piece.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Sam. » Oct 16th, '11, 16:29

This is actually a well written verse with climax of the thought was put at the start of bar. No criticism tbh.You did well in all the departments.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Man1x » Oct 16th, '11, 18:48

I'm guessing your British, if not your from somewhere in the UK
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Jdubem » Oct 16th, '11, 19:34

haha im from the US, what gave you that impression?
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Man1x » Oct 16th, '11, 19:39

Oh, never heard of Tony Montana except in a Skeptic song and he was from the UK so I put two and two together I just didn't come out with four.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Mr.DGAF » Oct 16th, '11, 19:46

Tony Montana is from scarface, he's pretty huge actually haha.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Man1x » Oct 16th, '11, 19:57

Mr.DGAF wrote:Tony Montana is from scarface, he's pretty huge actually haha.

Really? Damn, I'm stupid.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Sam. » Oct 16th, '11, 20:15

Discussion apart from feed is considered as spam.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Man1x » Oct 16th, '11, 20:22

Sam. wrote:Discussion apart from feed is considered as spam.

:confusion:

Anyway, dope verse bro. Looking forward to more.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby Jdubem » Oct 16th, '11, 20:32

Cool thanks guys, I tried to step it up and I kinda went with some of what you said and included some bars that I had written out before and came up with the other half. I never really put them together this much before though. I'll keep at it and be giving feed too. Theres some good stuff to be found here and it'll help with my own writing.
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Re: Dire Costs

Postby J.R. » Oct 16th, '11, 21:26

Dope verse. Will be looking for more.

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