Lyrical Genocide

by **Blu** » Oct 17th, '11, 08:55

Blu wrote:Yo, let me put this pen aside
And start a lyrical genocide
I don't need drugs, man
I force my own high inside
My course, the throne, you die inside
When I rap like this, your eye fries
When my lies attack your self-esteem
I don't rap for multi's
It's more like insults, see?
We're nothin' but saints and sinners
In the end we aint nothin' but winners
Fuck with me, you won't need stitches
You're wounds so bad, they'll be diggin' the ditches
Leave you in a body bag, full coma
The doc can't even find evidence from your aroma
Was it the knife, that took your life?
Or was it the gun, that shook your wife?
Or maybe it was just one, hook for tonight
Brooke I might, look for a fight
While I'm stranglin' myself with a wire
Carefully removing each toe with a plier
Cuz in the end we're all a Michael Myers
Even though we believe we're psycho liars
I've got the machete, run, and get ready!

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=131276

by **Sam.** » Oct 17th, '11, 13:27

This is definitely an improvement from your last drop.The only criticism that I would give use some different and complex words to Rhyme.sinners / winners are to simple man.
& also work on the content bruh ,it's too simple.

Chk "Bars Of Assault" and return feed.

by **Blu** » Oct 17th, '11, 23:09

Sam. wrote:This is definitely an improvement from your last drop.The only criticism that I would give use some different and complex words to Rhyme.sinners / winners are to simple man.
& also work on the content bruh ,it's too simple.

Chk "Bars Of Assault" and return feed.

Thanks dude. I was just messin with this join on the content but I'll def return feed.

by **ilovebender.com** » Oct 21st, '11, 12:45

Blu wrote:Yo, let me put this pen aside
And start a lyrical genocide
I don't need drugs, man
I force my own high inside
My course, the throne, you die inside
When I rap like this, your eye fries
When my lies attack your self-esteem
I don't rap for multi's
It's more like insults, see?
We're nothin' but saints and sinners
In the end we aint nothin' but winners
Fuck with me, you won't need stitches
You're wounds so bad, they'll be diggin' the ditches
Leave you in a body bag, full coma
The doc can't even find evidence from your aroma
Was it the knife, that took your life?
Or was it the gun, that shook your wife?
Or maybe it was just one, hook for tonight
Brooke I might, look for a fight
While I'm stranglin' myself with a wire
Carefully removing each toe with a plier
Cuz in the end we're all a Michael Myers
Even though we believe we're psycho liars
I've got the machete, run, and get ready!

[/quote]
Wow This was a lot 'for me to read', but it's worth it. :y:

by **J.R.** » Oct 22nd, '11, 21:31

For short bars the multis flowed pretty well. I'd just say now get into some more storytelling aspects and work on flow and inner's. Dope. :y:

by **Atone** » Oct 22nd, '11, 21:37

not sure how you were flowin with this, it seems different, you could do better, i'v seen you do better, this looks like somethin you just cooked up in like 10 minutes, i'll have to go and check your other stuff