Revolt - Manîx

[Man1x]

http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132840&p=1791605#p1791605

[Intro]

-Manîx-

Ugh, yo….

David to Blain
Then Lil to Wayne
I straight spit sabotage
And rape Nicki Minaj
Let's say, rigged the garage?
My dick's is in-lodged (Hahaha)
Got a freak mentality
It's called bestiality (Huh?)
Whose Tyler, the Creator? (This kid?)
Ohhh, the shy masturbator
Now, lets talk about Dra ---

-Eminememy-

No no no, bro that's wack, lets bring it back.

-Manîx-

Maybe we should go serious on this one?

-Eminememy-

Yea, some of that new style shit.

-Manîx-

Ight, but it might go over their heads….

[Verse 1 - Manîx]

After four charters from the throne the martyrs die in groves
As more sharpened minds indulge in slaughter and kill hope
I'm hurting in my limp bones, stalling time without course
I reach for these pens and scribble despite the loud horde
Time keeps on re-mending bricks, fallen fighters reforge
Life seems to depend on Nickel to buy a ground force
I'll lead through deep ends of risk, through this ocean of shit
I'll creep up these ships and then throw them to dens of bliss

[Outro - Manîx]

I'm back!

[Mr.DGAF]

I like it, and you're keeping with the theme of your new rapping ego going back and forth with your old(er) rapping style. The rhymes on this are pretty good dude, especially the second, real, verse. The psuedo intro thingy was cool as well. But yeah, the real verse was pretty good, the rhyming was very nice in this. It's a bit short, though, which is my only real complaint. But the vocab is solid, and you're definitely imrpoving there. Your last couple pieces have had pretty exceptional vocab use.

[SG.]

I remember when my rhyming used to be like that intro.

Anywho, I really like this, but I'm not going to rewrite Mr.DGAF's feed, he's pretty much got it.

[Atone]

almost quit reading in the beginning but thankfully i kept goin, that 2nd part was pretty good,

[Sam.]

Damn ! That was pure Young Money type of shit,the 1st verse I mean. Nice Rhyming overall.Liked the references that you gave of Rappers in the 1st few Bars.Yet again ,the flow sucked at places like this

I'll lead through deep ends of risk, through this ocean of shit
I'll creep up these ships and then throw them to dens of bliss.

Keep at it & next time make your verses big or I'm not gonna feed them.

[Man1x]

I remember when my rhyming used to be like that intro.

Anywho, I really like this, but I'm not going to rewrite Mr.DGAF's feed, he's pretty much got it.

I still used multis in the first verse but didn't do anything to forward the flow.

Damn ! That was pure Young Money type of shit,the 1st verse I mean. Nice Rhyming overall.Liked the references that you gave of Rappers in the 1st few Bars.Yet again ,the flow sucked at places like this

I'll lead through deep ends of risk, through this ocean of shit
I'll creep up these ships and then throw them to dens of bliss.

Keep at it & next time make your verses big or I'm not gonna feed them.

The flow was thrown off because of inverses I used there, I understand what you mean but I flow in my head in a way that makes it make sense.

Edit: I also rhymed everything except for about 4 syllables with at least something else but I'm not pointing anything out, and did anyone get the hidden message? Intros there to give you hint as-well.

[Words]

Very nice, I liked the back and forth between yourself in the first bit. Then in the second bit a couple of good multies and smooth flow really made it finish strong.

[Man1x]

Very nice, I liked the back and forth between yourself in the first bit. Then in the second bit a couple of good multies and smooth flow really made it finish strong.

Thank you, someone understands my flow

[J.R.]

FUCK YOU PULLED A YOUNG MONEY xD..
First part was pretty bad, 2nd was okay. Keep at it homie.

[Man1x]

FUCK YOU PULLED A YOUNG MONEY xD..
First part was pretty bad, 2nd was okay. Keep at it homie.

First was supposed to be bad, intentionally. 2nd was the REAL verse, what was wrong with it?