Untitled verse [EDIT]

[Words]

Several references you may not get in this piece, hope you enjoy it anyway
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132883
Intro-
See if you, can follow me, here we go.


I'm swarming like nestea
and never resting
Because I'm blessed see?
With this wicked ability
To blow up like a baneling,
say these insane things
and change game-
like a damn changeling
It may seem, like I'm a bad guy
But really I'm just a superfly
trying to pass my time
spitting various hooks and rhymes.
Beef'n you are half- a mind
sounding silly and asanine.
Bitter, like lemon-lime lemon rhines.
Lost mind, looked around tried to find.
Fought, denied and lost train of thought.
So all of it, you did was all for not.
Who would've thought,
WorDs could be so hot.
Hot as in spit'n fire a lot,
enough to boil the pot.
Going steadily as the breeze,
this is tier top.
Look at my arsenal, what do you got?
To mess with this verses armory,
like I'm dealing rapid THOR shots.


Out-
Haha, What?...Yeah I'm done now, but I'm back

[Sam.]

The only criticism that I would give you is work on how you Phrase your bars because that has hampered the flow a tad bit at places.

[mdemaz]

I'm guessing the beat is really fast for you to use such short bars.

I think you should cut the last few down as well, as you will have massive problems flowing when they appear.

[JamaicanPattlez]

It was decent, but the short bars threw me off. You gotta rework it, lol. I think regular bar structure still applies while using double-time flow, so yeah. It's all good though, you said it's an edit so I won't be nitpicky. It's good for what it is, keep it up.