Nostradamus

[Mr.DGAF]

This is for a poem I had to write for a class, but I figured I'd post it here to see if it's decent or not. The purpose is to show what you plan to be and the uncertanties of the future. I plan to be a writer, if you can't get that from the things. But yeah, let me know if it does the job or not.

Feed:http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133495

What lies ahead of me, I can't predict as I'm not Nostradamus
When it comes to my intentions, I'll be more than close to honest
Hope and promise fills my being, maybe college will accept me
I would earn respect without regretting people that neglect me
I've learned to grow and be a writer, become brighter while in class
I yearn to show I am inspired, bring my fire and surpass
Every expectation, the next great one you ain't heard of yet
Writing scenes for a big screen would be serene, absurd though, yes
Many try and never make it, what makes me so sure for greatness?
I don't have a cure for AIDS yet, I've done nothing for my fate yet
I'm still young and foolish, mistakes will be made and I know it too
I still want to do this, learning from misfortune is my golden tool
I'll mess up, I'll look stupid, people will joke and point at me
I don't care, just laugh and stare, at least you aren't ignoring me
It will be tough, it will be rough, but I will never fold you see
I'll scratch and fight and gladly write, never will avoid my dream

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks homie. Yeah, it's supposed to go without a beat, so I'm glad you felt that it worked in that regard haha.

[Sam.]

What's important for poetry is the use of proper phrases that are authentic at the same time makes you feel what you're saying. Not only that, it should be able to convey what you're actually trying to say and how well you're able to express, is the key to poetry. Suppose you're expressing the pain of loosing someone, the situation is deep, so it's very important to use Phrases, Metaphors and Similes to co relate to that feeling. Then only the Fell comes to it.

With that being said, the thing that I read was poetic indeed, but addressing yourself in every line takes the charm away. Start those lines with a different word.I'm referring to the last few bars, the way you executed the Bars was good though.


Keep slayin 'em.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks Sam. This was my first time really taking a stab at poetry, so I've still got a lot to learn, but with becoming a writer, I'm trying to improve in every aspect.

On the plus, I took your advice and have been reading more poetry as of late.