Track 8- not warm

[J.R.]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133847&p=1806155#p1806155



[Intro]
I'm so fucking cold,
I going to die alone,
I have no left in my heart,
For you useless foes,
And I just want you to know,
Creative control..
Doesn't give a fuck about you.


[Verse 1]
I may be Cold, My Heart's Folding up,
What I say is Bold, It Starts a Muck,
They say he's Old, He has more Cars than fucks,
Gay's I Told, Would be Carved as Sucks,
Rays of sunshine only blind my eyes,
Days I've spent Trying to Find the time,
Crazy I am, Maybe I've lost my mind,
Lazy I am, Death isn't far behind.
Not warmer than you, I have too many fights,
Got to further the feud, Another bloddy eye,
Fuck it! I go hard like A Manix and Zabe,
But I try and discard planet Like Apes,
Bitch, You better can- It Like grapes,
You best remember I jammed you on tape,
And that I can not be stopped,
I can be shot but not dropped,
I can be hot, but I'd rather not,
Last thing I need is bitches come after my cock.

[J.R.]

Tbh, this is by far the worst thing I've read in a long time.

The title is really dumb. The chorus is nonsensical, or missing words. There's typos everywhere and I think you said all the shit you said for the sake of the rhyme.

They say he's Old, He has more Cars than fucks,
Gay's I Told, Would be Carved as Sucks,



Fuck it! I go hard like A Manix and Zabe,
But I try and discard planet Like Apes,

What the hell?

Sorry, but you need to take more time with your pieces man. There's really nothing good I can say about this. Ask me a question and I'll answer. Not hating, just being honest.

Gays I told would be carved as sucks- Dicksuckers, thats what they are.
More cars than fucks- I have 1 car, therefore I don't give a fuck.

Watch planet of the apes.

Read Manix and Zabe's recent piece.

Besides, I drink when I write my dont give a fuck pieces

[J.R.]

No, I understood the lines. They were just really bad.

And if you're using drinking when you write DGAF pieces as an excuse for their mediocrity, why don't you stop drinking?

No I'm saying I really dont give two shits about this. It's a throwaway track with an overdone concept.

[Man1x]

Same as what Geno said but explain to me the reference, didn't watch planet of the apes

[Sam.]

Dude!

Look, it seems that you're in a frenzy and writing tracks as fast as you can, don't do that. Read what you have written at least 5 times before posting here and asking for feed, that's what I do with my work and I'm sure everyone here does the same. Some of your pieces were actually dope, but lately your doing this for the sake of it. Quantity doesn't matter quality does.

[J.R.]

Dude!

Look, it seems that you're in a frenzy and writing tracks as fast as you can, don't do that. Read what you have written at least 5 times before posting here and asking for feed, that's what I do with my work and I'm sure everyone here does the same. Some of your pieces were actually dope, but lately your doing this for the sake of it. Quantity doesn't matter quality does.

Word...I dont know kinda feels like...

You know, I was pretty amazing to you guys when Hurt so rare and shit came out..

And now, everyone's better...and what's the point?

[Spyder]

yeah man this wasnt good... by any means.

you tried to rhyme full sentences and it didnt work. your completely negated a topic and content matter and was just all around bad. need to care about every piece man