Freestyle verse

[Words]

This is a freestyle I recorded with my friend (Sam/Blowfish), posted a text version here

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8vjGQzOiyI (Wax- Red, imo one of the dopest instrumentals to exist )
Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133697


I’m a spastic nerd born to explore- and tell you shit never heard before
Real shit that rocks you to your core-
like why is there silverware in the pancake drawer
Your rhymes are like a Bill Cosby sweater,
horrible and ugly no matter the weather.
“Dear Whack MC,” is the header on the letter
written to you, by everyone else who’s better.
The other 99%, and I’m not talk’n about the protests
I’m talk’n about the other rappers who no rest progress.
They blow less, and plus they flow best
I suggest you don’t challenge or test
Because you can’t handle the stress
Damnit I must confess, I’m the dude who’s S-chest
Faster than a Speeding Bullet, Damnit it Sam I’m not Full of It.
Unless by “Full of It” You mean to say Lyrical Strength
In that case I’m a lyrical bank that’s lyrically dank
With shit more vicious that what you would find in a shark tank
What that means is these lyrics kill,
These lyrics kill cause these lyrics built
with real WorDs and TRshady steal,
if you’re still wondering what’s the deal
I’m fueled by happy meals and pop'n 20 pills
Plus I have more voltage than a school of electric eels

[Sam.]

What the fuck? Name drop.

Definitely one of your best pieces and it seems that you have improved a lot. The content is sick at the same time pretty repetitive, especially at the start of the verse, no big deal though, you managed to cover up for that. No criticism at all bro, shit was well written to the beat.

Keep slayin 'em.

[Words]

What the fuck? Name drop.

Definitely one of your best pieces and it seems that you have improved a lot. The content is sick at the same time pretty repetitive, especially at the start of the verse, no big deal though, you managed to cover up for that. No criticism at all bro, shit was well written to the beat.

Keep slayin 'em.

Wasn't dropping your name, my friend also happens to be named Sam, referring to him there.
Thanks for the feed always appreaciated
Also nothing was actually "written" to the beat. I recorded this to the beat off the top of my head, wrote it down later.

[Spyder]

pretty ok, i havent really peeped u much so idk how much youve improved.

still need to work on multies. id avoid using words line Dank and weird slang.
flow was nice, punches were bad like the Cosby Sweater line...

seems like your coming up though so hang in there

[autotooner]

pretty good piece, Multi's could use some work, but it seems to flow really well.
I like some of your punches and cultural references. Interested to hear more from you.

I am pretty new at this, so bear with me if my feedback isn't the most helpful. I am still learning this whole thing, like I said tho, I like it over all.