A-D-D

[TonyTilt]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=142493&p=1842727#p1842727

Okay so I wrote this in class about an hour ago and I wanted to get some feedback before I went back to class, it isn't near done or anything idk what it even is supposed to be it just came to me. The "Old times sake" beat kept playing in my head... it's been a Long ass day

Two addies deep and it's not even 8.
The saddest weep that does not indicate, the
Amphetamines lack in dopamine intake, 
Shoulda been great, to be friends with your brains inmate,
Coulda been late, to see both of your craniums conversate, 
Insanium with this shit,
Taz-manian as of late,
Can't contemplate if it's great when, mindsets start debate, 
innate, when you flood the opening of the gate, 
Make the nervous system nervous,
When he can't serve his purpose, he won't make weight. 
When the thought train becomes a freight, 
Hope the tracks are laid straight, or I'll be played the wrong way, 
Wasting another day, 
Barely making it home okay, 
You think it's scary walking on the runway?


My a-d-d is in control of me,
 that ol' extacy,
 lays next to me,
 takes tolls ya see, 
Rolling through the valley,
Storming through the alley, 
way, because today,
These drugs came out to play..

[JamaicanPattlez]

Was this your first drop in CW? If so, pretty good man, I like. Very amateur, but you'll improve. Plus, it was written in class. Nice use of long and short bars. Keep it up!

[TonyTilt]

Second I think, and thank you!