Just Somethin to Write To

[Spyder]

LOF

This aint hard shit, this is light music
Somethin you could prolly write with improvement.
Just get the flow down, wit the right movement
Kick back cause this track make you bite to it.

Ya you talkin hard, but I’ve walked the planet
Now watch as I crush this Fruit with my Palm-a-granite! (pomegranate)
Me not tough? Ill show ya how I fight with bars
I’ll finish on Medusas face, cause in her Eyes I’m Hard!
Nobodies on the Same Boat, feelin like Noah
Fightin a bunch of animals, though I,
keep Flowin with the most amazin of health
Jump ship, and somehow continue the race by myself.
But really, if I continue its certain psyche ward
Cursed since birth, umbilical was a mic cord.
Shit was my life source, odds steady in my favor
Work on your Delivery, you aint ready for the Labor!
I’m a Lion, strip the Witch of her Wardrobe
Always antsy when I snort blow before shows,
Every whore knows I get groin sometimes
Gettin more Pink Slips than Unemployment lines.
The wildest sort,
Knocked the competition Up and stuck with Child Support. (haha)
But hang on and I’ll throw you the towel
After the first verse has you explodin your bowels
Alone on the prowl, king but that’s given
Mouth only holds Fowl like starving black women…
No racism, just know that your bro’s teasin
Just gotta show I’m more Blessed Pope sneezes,
Behold Jesus. Flows a natural diuretic
Spit so sweet like I’ve just blown a diabetic.
Now I’ll try to end it, I want you at ya best
Cause when my next track cracks ya dead.

This aint hard shit, this is light music
Somethin you could prolly write with improvement.
Just get the flow down, wit the right movement
Kick back cause this track make you bite to it.

[Enimee]

i got cash on deck, sike i havnt had cash since my last check
and if i say i spent it on my neck, then i spent it on neglect
wreck, your whole opinion of hip hop when just a fraction of my tracks run
my passions spittin raps son, so ima use every breath till my last one
grasp gun, insert clip, cock the hammer then bang ya self
cause with rhymes like that i wouldnt even play the hand you were dealt
your face looks like you took a wiff of my success and couldnt stand what you smelt
but thats nothin to they way you'll look when the damage is felt
cause im, abusive and ruthless, the truth is, i do this
too move shit congruent and bruise this whole movement
this proves your a nuissance ill ruin your new whip
and have both my shoes bit to leave this bitch toothless


*u inspired me to write this just now iunno why"

[Spyder]

oooook

[Fleka]

Did "Bad Influence" ispired you, Spyder?

[Spyder]

no? thats nothing like Bad Influence

[Just Silver]

no? thats nothing like Bad Influence

[Fleka]

I didn`t mean the lyrics were inspired by BI, when I read it, BI influence beat went through my head.

[Spyder]

oh... no actually Rap Game by Pacewon was the intended beat
i just couldnt find the instrumental anywhere to post


can anyone feed this though...

[12characters]

Spyder killing it !

Honestly, I can't really tell you anything for improvement but I can point out key parts that I thought were really good and also note a few thing here and there. The whole thing was pure fire with clever punchlines and impressive multies, but I also want to point out a spot where I thought the flow could sound really charismatic if done right.

Nobodies on the Same Boat, feelin like Noah
Fightin a bunch of animals, though I,

To me it seems as if a well timed pause is intended to come off more like Joe Budden-ish style as opposed to like a more Copywrite-ish, considering the syllables don't exactly match up nor are there enough to just rip through it. I also like this line because I for one think certain rhyme stretches are pretty dope as long as I consider it reasonable, like the "Noah/Though I" lines.

Speaking of Budden, have you ever considered trying that style where you like dumb down a bit of the structure (not severely) and/or ad-lib a bit of the rest to build a more comfortable flow? Jay and Yeezy do it to, but imo not as impressive as Budden. Just a thought, I mean like those guys though you have to build a really confident yet charismatic delivery.

Some of my favorite punches include:

But really, if I continue its certain psyche ward
Cursed since birth, umbilical was a mic cord.
Shit was my life source, odds steady in my favor
Work on your Delivery, you aint ready for the Labor!

The "umbilical/mic cord" is just great word play right there ! Pretty self-explanatory. The next line however, "Deliver/Labor", is just as great because it's rather more "realistic" yet just as clever. Dope word play.

Spyder dropped another classic on us.

[Spyder]

haha thanks man, this was somethin light for a audio track im gonna do which is more
of my harder punches that i usually do

yeah that line through the flow off ill admit, you could use a pause there but honestly
i wasnt tryin to hard with this one so i said fuck it hahaha

what u mean dumb it down like Budden tho?

thanks for the peep though man

[12characters]

haha thanks man, this was somethin light for a audio track im gonna do which is more
of my harder punches that i usually do

yeah that line through the flow off ill admit, you could use a pause there but honestly
i wasnt tryin to hard with this one so i said fuck it hahaha

what u mean dumb it down like Budden tho?

thanks for the peep though man

Just how Budden will dumb down the rhyming so his flow doesn't sound too awkward.

And no problem man. I don't write but I figured I could still at least try to contribute or something.

[Ka0t1c]

pretty clever, some parts seemed missing a word, but that's about it, i can still understand it

[Spyder]

thanks for the check man

[CrashBand]

Great punches and rhyming man.

few favourite linse were the medusa, and pope punches. but also

keep Flowin with the most amazin of health
Jump ship, and somehow continue the race by myself.

Didnt mind the "no racism" call after just calling out starving black women aswell haha. reminded me of the 'no homo' calls from a wee while back which eventually got overused.

It's been said but I think it was missing syllables in some of your bars for the flow. Unless their were a lot of intended 'pauses'.

I found that last line didn't have enough syllables and struggled to flow it, or is that just me