Tears of Remorse

[Doodlebug]

Introduction: The article moved me, and I needed to DO something (I was an abused child). I decided what to name my verse, oddly found music the same name. I opened my Notepad, put on the music, closed my eyes - and typed this out - no edits except one word changed.

I used to be an illustrator and did multimedia - and will do this in the Fall. Too busy on a work project (Web) right now.

Click the music (have it open in a new window) and listen as you read for the full effect. >
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/160919


"A 9-year-old Alabama girl is dead after her grandmother and stepmother ... Police say the girl was ordered to run for 3 hours as punishment for lying to her ..."

Tears of Remorse


Forgive me
Forgive me

I only wanted your heart

Forgive my deception
Forgive my lies
I am but a child
I only want your love


See my tears of remorse
have pity upon my small soul


On and forwards I go
every day a blur

I want to come from the shadows into the light
I want your hand to take me there

Please...love me
please care for me

I want to go round and round
in the bright days of tomorrow
the grass at our feet
the wind in our hair

i want to be as one
i want to go with you

please love me
please see
my tears of remorse


(my name/date here)


Link of Feedback (Post I commented on): viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146411&p=1939761#p1939761

[Just Silver]

need link of feedback

[Sam.]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=99315

Follow it, otherwise this will be Deleted/Locked.

Sincerely,
CW Team.

[Eedee]

That's sad... This was interesting to read. Is this called "train writing" or something? Where you just keep writing whatever comes to you and not stopping/going back to erase? We did this in poetry class last year, I do believe.

This section is usually for rap lyrics, but this was a refreshing change. Not bad. Emotional.

[Doodlebug]

That's sad... This was interesting to read. Is this called "train writing" or something? Where you just keep writing whatever comes to you and not stopping/going back to erase? We did this in poetry class last year, I do believe.

This section is usually for rap lyrics, but this was a refreshing change. Not bad. Emotional.

Not sure, I never really considered myself a writer. I used to write poetry when I was younger but it seems to evolved over time. Recently, I started writing it to music in one smooth movement.

[Sam.]

Tender thoughts that need a little brush of proper presentation. If its poetry that you're aiming for, then you need to do it properly, this one right here, is close to it, but not exactly poetry. Just your imagination scattered around in the words that you wrote. Not bad, I liked its simplicity.