[2418 EP Track 6] Bad Genes Freestyle

[J.R.]

Yeah I know, it's weird to start off an EP with track 6. But I liked how I did this. imo, anyway.

lof viewtopic.php?f=24&t=147612

I was born in november too, does that make me a technician?
Remember the pledge, Say it with precision, see tech I listened.
The pledge, Sizzlin out the fakes who are too busy smokin' trees,
Jizzin out to hentai rape, thinkin they great cuz they dopin weed
Hope and plead, for a better life when they see, (they should of been me)
I decree that we diminsh and abolish this demonic seed. (Do it while we frolic in glee)
Call it mean, twist it how you want, taunt it and mock it,
But however you drop it, I'm not too sure that you can stop it.
This plan? I sit atop it, when it succeeds, I will be a laureate,
I'm just trying to create sucess, but you all will be sure-to-hate.
So dyke, if you could help me expedite, I gotta get away,
Say goodbye, cause tonight the bad genes die to stay.

[Eedee]

This was meh. Not your best work.

This plan? I sit atop it, when it succeeds, I will be a laureate,
I'm just trying to create sucess, but you all will be sure-to-hate.

This had bad flow, especially on the first bar. I also notice there's no internals, which makes the flow even weirder. Meh.

Hope and plead, for a better life when they see, (they should of been me)
I decree that we diminsh and abolish this demonic seed. (Do it while we frolic in glee)
Call it mean,

(De)monic seed/call it mean - that rhyme was good, probably the best in the piece and that's sort-of sad for someone who's been doing this as long as you. You obviously have the concept and ability to write multies. You should put more in and practice practice practice. Also, "frolic in glee" would've been great to add to the call it mean/(De)monic seed scheme but you botched it with the syllables...


In general, flow was weird, rhyming was sub-par and I honestly just didn't care for the piece. You can do better.