Eedee - Yes, You

[Eedee]

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=147883
Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRfaKoMzAR8
*This song has no purpose other than being shallow and rhyming. Huzzah!

[Chorus] (:09)
I got my brain swirling in a kind of dance,
My hard time in the pants while I spy your ass.
This is your final chance (Yes, You)
This is your final chance (Yes, You)
I eye your back, c'mon girl, can't you feel this?
This tension that you're missing is making me think real shit.
This is your final chance (Yes, You)
This is your final chance (Yes, You)

[Verse 1] (:30)
Guess who, little bitch darling, it's your favorite man,
Let's this middle chick started, what a tasty plan.
Came in my faceless van, Potter glasses and a rapist stache,
I stop the masses with my stares, where's the famous man?
With his fake I.D.? I'm right here, the place I be,
Break this bitch's ankles with my moves? That ain't my b.
Replace ice tea ya'll drinking with my seed, doll,
Is it cold up in here? Girl, warm up my icy balls. (What?)
You heard me, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ME BACK?"
Shit, there goes my anger... I'm sorry 'bout that.
What do you say I take you back to my place? Lick my scrote,
You're edgy like a hexagon... what's with this ho?
I get this dough, now you think I'm shallow, do ya?
Don't piss and moan, God's here, it's me! Hallelujah!
I'll savage yo cunt.......
........Daddy's home, ugh!

[Chorus] (1:10)

[Verse 2] (1:51)
Now that I got you here, sit down on that couch, boo,
Your mouth is like soft and yeah - I'll give you a mouthful.
You've been talking my ear off, start taking your clothes off,
"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAY, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO SOFT???"
Hold on... my phone's been ringing for a way long time.
"Hello? Yeah I got the shit, bitch. Okay, mom, bye!"
Sorry there babe, that was a client with a question,
Do you like bondage? I'll take your silence as a yes then.
Where are you going, hun? I thought you said by showing up,
I'd put my penis in your vagina with force until I'm blowing cum?
Fine then, I don't fucking need you anyhow,
I thought we'd do this night together but I guess I know to spend it now
I'll think of your supple breasts whilst taking these subtle breaths,
Make sure I'm a couple steps away and then I jizz with a "FUCKING YES!!!"
Yes, you're the girl I'm thinking of when I jerk off,
I don't it doesn't make sense, that's something I need to work on...

[Mr.DGAF]

There were some really nice lines in this and some ehh lines. I thought the first 4 bars to each verse were the weakpoint to the piece, after that it's pretty good. The way you rhymed on this reminded me a bit of a Royce track. How he kinda mixes it in with convo and humor.

[Zellomugi]

siickkkk "Do you like bondage? I'll take your silence as a yes then." flow could use work in some spots.

You heard me, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ME BACK?"
Shit, there goes my anger... I'm sorry 'bout that.

is there a 2 syllable rhyme there im missing?