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Pride Gleams (Emulation Day 3)

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Pride Gleams (Emulation Day 3)

Postby Mr.DGAF » Oct 26th, '12, 00:57

Tried to tell a story, mostly emulating the flow and the end rhymes. Though there's some similarities in the inner schemes. But yeah, enjoy.

Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=150133

I passed this little sad thing, slummin' with her kids
The chick can't even act straight, stuck without a crib
So you see the bad thing once I seen the chick
Is the bitch ain't have change up inside her shit
So I tried to lower, and ask this girl if it's tough for her while living poor
And where she's going, if she needs some help to get a car
Like, "lady look at how you living on the boulevard"
But then she tells me "I don't give a fuck 'bout who you are
See all I really want if for you to get out, go!"
Before I knew it she's getting up from the ground slow
And then my knees slip while I'm tryna get down low
Her face was speechless as I began to ask fo'
A peaceful hand while losing my balance
That proud feeling she had vanished while looking up at us
And now she's really realizing the feeling
When ya need some help with that shit
Got her changing how she feels about it
Cause all the pain the worlds caused has her reeling backwards
And pride won't let her ask for some money so she has rent
Cause she just wants to tell me everything she might need
But she can't let you see she's cry-ing, cry-ing
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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Re: Pride Gleams (Emulation Day 3)

Postby CrashBand » Oct 26th, '12, 13:04

This was cool. I already know you're a pretty skilled writer.

And now she's really realizing the feeling
When ya need some help with that shit

I didn't really like that part to be totally honest. It still flowed, but it wasn't very smooth mainly due to missing the last rhyme and it being slightly chopped syllable wise.

Rest of the verse was superb for what it was. :y:
I'm not tryin to be rude, but I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth
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Re: Pride Gleams (Emulation Day 3)

Postby ShAdYTiLIDie » Nov 20th, '12, 23:06

Nice verse dgaf, still killing it with the multis keep it up bro!
"Shady said it Shady meant it, I stay demented, Ill throw a stroller at you, with a baby in it"
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