Random Drop 001

[Atone]

Link Of Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=170240&p=2609463#p2609463

you want a freestyle?, you wanna see style for free?
i show you sweet styles, like Jimmy from 8 mile with ease
Call me a B rabbit the way i jump these bars, y'all just bar hoppers
while i come thru to steal the show, y'all on the phone with crime stoppers
my technique make you freak the way i eat these beats
i reap, no sleep, live for rap and i'd die for dreams
while y'all lay your head on a pillow to catch fictional scenes
a man with no name, just lookin to speak to be heard
i aint it in for fame, i just wanna reach you with words
take you to school, i'm teachin you nerds
like a ghetto church, i'm here to preach to the burbs
the same thing big and pac taught me, Pun and Jay-Z
grew up listenin to Rakim, LL and Shady
the music had me thinkin the world was crazy
i grew up wishin for a mic and a funky beat
just to speak on my own journey in these funky streets
seen the worst of it all but i live for the best
let pain be my story but still i am blessed
cuz i found my platform, to get the monster off of my chest
maybe the world is crazy, and maybe i'm leadin the asylum
the xylem, or maybe i'm just tryin to silence the sirens
my words calming, causing the disturbance to cease
music is the medicine, let these sounds create a peace

[Just Silver]

great freestyle

didnt like the funky beat/street line but otherwise the piece caught my attention
ive heard some of your audio but your cw is better as of now you just need delivery

otherwise good piece guy

[JohnJohnston]

i reap, no sleep, live for rap and i'd die for dreams
while y'all lay your head on a pillow to catch fictional scenes
a man with no name, just lookin to speak to be heard
i aint it in for fame, i just wanna reach you with words
take you to school, i'm teachin you nerds


i don't like these bars seems like you were going for deep but it comes off as corny. its a fine line but you don't wanna cross it. overall though i'd give it a B

[Flamez]

That was nice man I like it good freestyle.

[Eedee]

a man with no name, just lookin to speak to be heard
i aint it in for fame, i just wanna reach you with words

I really liked the way these lines flowed and how natural the rhymes felt. Good shit.

[SandMan]

cool piece, you didnt get too hung up on multis but yet you had a lot of inners and a lot of repeat syllable rhymes. Nice

[gutawafang]

Average in my opinion. I'm sure you can do better. But since it's a freestyle, it's generally not that good. Flow is easy to catch, which is good. Multis are good but it got worse as the piece progressed.

Certain lines were very meh.
For eg.
"maybe the world is crazy, and maybe i'm leadin the asylum"
"the same thing big and pac taught me, Pun and Jay-Z"
"i grew up wishin for a mic and a funky beat
just to speak on my own journey in these funky streets"

The word funky is rather funky. It doesn't make a freestyle stand out.

4/10