One last Freeverse.

[SandMan]

Okay guys this is my last free verse before I start working on topicaLs I just wanted to get on point with my rhymes / rhyme schemes although I think if I do a topical it will help me be more creative. Thanks for all the feed on that last piece!
Flows a little choppy but here it is.
LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=170392&p=2618044#p2618044

Verse-
I'm back its the sandman with animal tendencies
I'ma damage my enemies till their bandaged and withering
My thoughts are wicked see I have to twist ya feet strangle necks
hang ya head break your legs cut you until your veins are dead
and your bodys in endless sleep now that your past cyanotic
I rab diabolical your just a dying molecule
and its highly probable that I'm just here to fuck you up
make you cuff ya nuts with five upper cuts
I spit thunder bruh so try and start a storm
I'm the god of swords thats about to tear apart your core
leave your heart on floors then amputate your arms and more
your eyes your ears dont fight the fear ya nose ya toes
I go for broke your hands your feet your just an amputee
who picked the wrong guy with strong sides to fight
Left with no signs of life so die tonight
While i'm writin rhymes dont fuck with the mindless guy

[SandMan]

Bump

[PAINKILLƎR]

cool freeverse, nice rhymes and flow. I dug it.

[SandMan]

Thanks homie

[Just Silver]

I liked the rhyming in the first half but after that the rhymes sometimes were weak or were a reach

Ex.and your bodys in endless sleep now that your past cyanoticI rab diabolical your just a dying molecule 

Although this was in the beginning I felt it killed the flow for me

Otherwise everything was pretty good I liked the opening 4 lines the most

Edit: the line I thought that messed it up was normal lol so yea good stuff hopefully you're still active