The Final Piece

[Flamez]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=172440

The mic is bleeding my fingers frozen voice is silent
Hearing noises why I had to make my choices violent
Why am I breathing I just reminisce the tortures
The mind of a psychopath living with the horrors
Trying to eat emcees brains like a creepy zombie
I’m sleepy and breathing after somebody shot me
Stealing the rhyme schemes after I ran out of ideas
A demon imprisoned in hell a mexican out of tortillas
My soul is burning in the hands of the fucking devil
Twisted like a pretzel like I was nothing special
In the mirror nothing resembles but perish and fear
Chills down my spine no longer see claritin clear
The end is here I’m readying ammunition
On this last mission I’m getting this blurry vision
The journey finished this is my last writing piece
Keys out of the ignition this is my last drop of ink

[shadyblogger]

Nice little piece brah. Cool lyrics and the Mexican line was so random but funny. Good stuff brah.

[Just Silver]

Short but had a really good flow

I lold at the Mexican like

Can't critique much since it's such a short piece
But looks like you've improved we should collab soon

Good structure

[Flamez]

Thanks. I'm done writing though shifting my focus onto something else.

[EvryOnesACrtc]

It's a decent drop. Nice visuals with some dope rhymes. Word of advice though: stick to the overall aura of the piece throughout your whole rap. For example, the tortilla line along with the claritin one threw the vibe off. It went from being deep to silly all because of a rhyme. If that's what you were going for then fine, but it doesn't really work. I would replace those rhymes with something else to give it some consistency. It was some nice, dark, work otherwise

[shadyphantom91]

Very dark piece but dope. Feels a little bit like Relapse-era Em. It also has some good use of multis. My favorite line is the twisted like a pretzel like I was nothing special and the chills down my spine no longer see claritin clear.

[Mr.DGAF]

Phrasing was a bit weird on some bars but it was cool nonetheless. I did like the tortilla line a lot haha. you've got some good imagery here too. Your style kinda reminds me of Silver's in terms of just hopping around with themes and whatnot.