Headless Horseman - Teacher's Pet

[Eedee]

I’m no graduate, but are you trying to seduce me?
This forbidden lust is so exciting and confusing

Sick end rhyme there. Sounds good to say out loud.

Fucking you had some sick lines in there. Really love the way you rhyme simple words but make 'em sound good in the context of the song. The content was funny too, didn't think it was corny at all. It was more like, a tongue-in-cheek "of course it's corny" type song, but it didn't come off as the latter at all IMO. It felt just perfectly comedic, if that makes sense lol

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Dope storytelling. Got the job done, and was entertaining. You're quite creative. You've got your basic rhymes down, but I wanna see you challenge yourself and perform some intricate rhyme scheme Not that multies and internals are essential, I just know you're capable of more.

[Sea triscuit]

An entertaining read, it was creative and had nice natural rhyme scheme like the people above me said. Only thing I didn't like was the line about nothing really rhyming with Olivia, just seemed kind of unnecessary to me.

[Solace]

For the record, I wouldn't really consider this piece storytelling. I'm possibly grasping the flow wrong, but it seems you don't really write with the intention of actually rapping this out loud insofar as there are few breathing spots (so it works better in mind than out loud). Now for the positives, you have a lot of humorous metaphors, references like those are the shit, but I'll need help understanding the Joe Paterno line along with "sex jokes like a red band". At this point it becomes a little redundant to comment on rhyme schemes, so I'll just give you a thumbs up.

These are my favourite parts of the piece, they're really good and sound great in my head.

I feel like a foreigner, I wanna know what love is
Tutor me in French, gotta show me how to tongue kiss
Role play techniques, girl, I wanna learn those
I can be the student, you be Mary Kay Letourneau

God damn, you look fly when you dust erasers
Got me on another planet like Tusken Raiders
Cherry red lipstick, girl, you got the hottest mouth
Made you a mixtape, Sufjan and Modest Mouse
Wanna take you out, hashbrowns at the Waffle House
We can make out on the couch at my momma’s house
Curl up with a blanket and a bowl of cheddar Chex Mix
And watch Reese Witherspoon comedies on Netflix

there's something different about each verse, and i'm curious to see if anybody picks up on what i mean by that, because i think i gave it more depth than there initially appears to be.

First verse is confident and sexual, second verse is leaning towards romance, third verse reveals some form of nervousness?

[shadyblogger]

Nice and entertaining Horse! Some funny lines and creative rhymes and great references. For someone reason I read this piece in Kanye's voice. Dope shit, keep it up.

[Just Silver]

Extremely good piece again working with name drops and everything had a decent flow but never changed up much

Felt really natural only lacked a switched up flow

You're definitely one of the best writers here I need to take notes