TRShady - "Mosh-Pit Cypher" (6 Writers)

[CanadaPure]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=165312#p2415899
Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/123193/genre ... f-the-king
Note: If anyone had another verse for this that I didn't include because I lost it, please PM it to me and I'll update the OP.
---
[Eedee]
On top of the world, with a chain around my neck,
And the pain you're bound to get, you'll need a hospital, girl.
I'm stoppin' the earth, cause the day's about to end,
When I write, I hear: "Look, crazy found his pen!"
I get this game going, I'm flame-throwin' -
These words around like they're nothing, and they're nothing.
And you're nothing - flow's so wet I could paint oceans,
I show no sweat, so I let my balls hang low then.
Can you see me from space, humpin' the Great Wall?
You're pub crawlin' this bitch, only made it to eight bars. (that's it?)

[Painkiller]
Fuck the law makers motherfucker the beef is on
Meet the jawbreaker bitch your teeth is gone
This isn't a society anymore, just a concrete jungle
So when you get caught in the wrong street, rumble
And it's all a start on how its all about to fall apart
When it meets its demise, I'll call it art
The kid that smokes weed is the same king who won't lead
It's like you got the raps but no beats, trap with no streets

[Painkiller-Hook]
So we gotta spit hot shit, lyrically it's a mosh pit,
If you don't wanna jump in motherfucker, you can watch it,
With your bitch... just stand over there and gossip,
Or get on this hip hop shit you fuckin' pussy and hop in,

[Bigray]
Party bout’ to pop, CP locked my spot 
Shocked? Silence, you knob-heads talk a lot 
I’ve gone ballistic, opposition I sock em’ senseless then cock a biscuit
A little vicious, mixed with mischief and lots of pimpness
Hand pick bitches, fuck a wife stick it to my mistress
Malicious when missy visits, licks it while I scream die bitches
Ill and twisted, keep a distance rays the biggest
Your girl licked it, paid my dick a visit……then sent her home
Came on the whores lips and she didn’t even spit it
And when you kiss her lips, you’ll taste my dick a bit 
I love my piff and if I don’t choke from the dope smoke
The hustler can get his bone from his nose broke
I’ll slap mononym, guzzle all da' goose than bottle him
If you’re down with him, hope you die from mono than
Roll him a blunt and he should be thankful…."get high!"
Than he can walk on glass like chris angel
Ill outsmart you in hockey with a sick dangle
Then hit you dirty leaving your chest mangled
When you get up my gun will kill you from all angles
Send you back home, leavin’ you all strangled
Stop talking bout’ what you outta do
You already know I'm better than all of you
Pour me some vodka only the naughty goose
You can get shot be careful who you wrongly accuse

[Painkiller-Hook]

[Just Silver]
Smokescreens in my lungs look like reebok pumps
Weed smog till it fogs like cheech and chong 
the weed is master back and hes fresher than suds
Fresh as they come unique the best of the bunch
Whos me? not you unless your a bum
and so confused with life suicide could be done
no not the doors like the rich and the famous
but the score that is settled when lifes a bitch aint it
true that i aim at you to give the loot 
I need it more than you shit isnt affordable
Im so hungry for this cream and assorted jewels
Ive been warned by few that im living a fool
Despical like daffy and shit a lisp when i spit
Its so damn wet like when the basket goes swish
Theyre faggots and bitches thats if this grabs your attention
Meaning it could be you your new definition

[Painkiller-Hook]

[Squiggles]
It's the return of the king, the champ is here
as I enter the ring, you can hear that crowd cheer
It's Squiggles boys and girls, yeah that man from the moon
penning scribbles no lame shit here like National Lampoon
that TRshady lurker out from the shadows to murk ya
never really seen me before like a lady in a burhka 
derka derka, derkastan 
dropping bombs like Merica did on Afghanistan
calling me out? better strike now while that irons hot
cos you're messing with an under dog mixed with a thunder god
a man of steel, Superman to your general zod
only hearing of me now?I know yeah that's kind of odd
so listen up, open your ears and turn that ipod off
penetrating you deeply like a turn and cough in your doctors office
self depracating like you know that you get off on it
I hope you enjoyed, cos for now I've had enough of it

[Painkiller-Hook]

[CanadaPure]
Jump on, we straight fire, wait, this shit pre-dates your fire,
Jump off, three dames tryin' say what I create is vile, (Oh)
Like I said I'll rape a child, slit a mother's throat open,
Bitch, your mother holds open her cunt while I dump a whole ocean,
Of cum, and I punch that hoe hopin' to enhance her orgasm,
Or that's what I would do if I'd let that whore have one,
Give her a hard kiss... Did I just taste a little bit of bigrays dick?
Do I get cheated on every time this little bitch is away? shit,
My life is falling apart, now my wife is balling her heart out,
It's do or die and suicide is drawing my card, down,
Goes the bottle, you know my motto, write, write and rewind,
On that genocide shit, find a knife slice in your thigh,
I'll light up the night, you high? this cypher is mine,
I might bite all your lines, snatch thoughts right out your mind,
And I'll siphon the rhymes right until your hype is declined,
I might just provide what makes you feel lucky surviving the climb,

Rolly
Hei ta'så sjekk nordbaggan kicker ass på den dritten her
Prater norsk, ingen skjønner hva jeg sier likkavæl,
Rødt, hvitt, blått, hipp-hopp rett fra Drammensdal'n
Svelvik, rett i fra østkanten av hovedstad'n
Prøv å finn han, som flower som "King Ron"
Du kan ta å leite helt fra Canada til Finnland
Og bring han mongo'n for jeg knuser retards
Og legger karieren hans i tusen bitar
Over to english, imma rap about my one and only
Emma Stone, better known as Rollys zone, I'm one my thrown
Emma is my life, without her I'm just sad and lonely
This whole verse is very rubbish and Ill end it with some bullshit
I love you more than my life baby
I love you more than Shady
I love you more than he loves his daughter Hailie
Hope you dont hate me, like I hate DeAngelo Bailey...

Superman11
Came to this game to leave a mark that's flawless,
It's the kid with thoughts that are dark and haunted,
Parked in forests to commit unspoken tortures,
Open slaughters, let your blood drip like broken faucets.
Hopeless horror, body count growin larger
thoughtless, hearts ice cold like frozen water
Since infancy my mind produced ideas so wickedly
So fittingly, I turned that into words so skillfully.
So fuck simplicity, my mind works on a level greater
Words with evil flavor since I was a second grader
seconds later, mom took each of my eleven papers
Can't blame her, either way I've never grown to hate her
Don't you get it by now, my flow could level this ground
Turn the volume, bass and treble up loud
All the way to the right until you tear off the knob
Never turn it down, cause now your in the presence of god.

[mdemaz]

Eedee

I think you did okay here.
The bar line was dope.

Painkiller

This is a nice and aggressive verse from you.
A lot of multies, clever wordplay and other hidden shit here.

Nice hook, too.

Bigray

I haven't read any of your shit before, and this blew me away!
Well done.

Lol at that mononym line.

Just Silver

I always find your writing to be very interesting.

Squiggles

I haven't read anything by you yet, but, from what I can see, you did a pretty good job here.

CanadaPure

Again, I'm impressed with your writing.
There's no much to say. you did a really good job. For some reason, when I read that Bigray line I just bursted out laughing. XD

Overall, pretty good.

Keep them coming.

[Just Silver]

thanks guy for the feed is interesting good

[mdemaz]

You could say that.

Sorry for the lazy feed.

I'm sorta burnt out. X.X

[Squiggles123]

Thanks for the feedback mdemaz I really enjoyed writing this and would appreciate any more feedback from anyone. I did a shitty little phone voice memo recording I might post later to give you guys an idea of the flow I was going for. Where's the best/easiest way to upload it to? I would appreciate feedback on that too but please keep in mind it was my second take and that I'm aware I'm a bit off in a couple of parts plus the quality of the audio.

Bigray I really liked your verse there too, twas the stand out for me but everyone did a great job I think.

Cheers.

[Just Silver]

its suppsed to say the weed master is back lol

[Squiggles123]

Hei ta'så sjekk nordbaggan kicker ass på den dritten her
Prater norsk, ingen skjønner hva jeg sier likkavæl,
Rødt, hvitt, blått, hipp-hopp rett fra Drammensdal'n
Svelvik, rett i fra østkanten av hovedstad'n
Prøv å finn han, som flower som "King Ron"
Du kan ta å leite helt fra Canada til Finnland
Og bring han mongo'n for jeg knuser retards
Og legger karieren hans i tusen bitar

Translation:

So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick

[Just Silver]

needs more feed from ppl that weren't involved

[Just Silver]

bump

[Squiggles123]

bump

No shit. Em is stealing our shine haha

[J.R.]

This isn't a society anymore, just a concrete jungle
So when you get caught in the wrong street, rumble

My only feed is that going from the first line to the second here was odd and flowed weird.

But, other than that, I like it.
Twas' fire guys.

[Squiggles123]

Might be pointless but BUMP.

Some more feedback would be great......

Also does anyone know where I could upload a audio clip of me rapping my verse just to post on here for feedback too?

[Just Silver]

i agree this needs more feed or at least views

[Squiggles123]

i agree this needs more feed or at least views

I just remembered I had a soundcloud account from a while back, so I've uploaded it there for some feedback. As I've mentioned earlier though "but please keep in mind it was my second take and that I'm aware I'm a bit off in a couple of parts plus the quality of the audio", honesty is definitely appreciated though.

https://soundcloud.com/squiggles123/return-of-the-king

[mdemaz]

Not bad for a rough cut.