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Freestyle

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Re: Freestyle

Postby Sam. » Apr 15th, '11, 18:55

structure and flow were really bad ,too much use of big words just to rhyme but on the whole a nice attempt.
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Re: Freestyle

Postby Sam. » Apr 15th, '11, 19:52

Revolutionary wrote:
MCSam wrote:structure and flow were really bad ,too much use of big words just to rhyme but on the whole a nice attempt.


I don't know about flow because it flows good in my head.
P.S. I didn't mean to use big words, i wrote this in 10 minutes it's just whatever, you know what i mean?
Anyways, thanks for the feed back :y:

u will realize what i said when u try and flow with a beat .
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Re: Freestyle

Postby Maybe » Apr 16th, '11, 06:29

I'll point out the good things first: Vocabulary was great, and the rhyming wasn't bad at all. You had some interesting lines, and overall, it was a great throwaway verse.

The bad: Some of your lines are unnecessary. It seemed like too much filler, and with a pretty bad structure to boot. Although, the flow wasn't bad, it was scrambled and unorganized. I could flow it, but a lot felt off-beat since the structure is poor.

Overall: It's a fine piece. I can tell you have potential to write something superior, so keep writing and keep elevating. :y:

If you have a chance/moment, check out my piece as well.

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=111778
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