Coleon FT. Faux Pas - Siren Song

[Maybe]

This beautiful project has been in the works for... about 45 minutes. No lie.

Coleon
I try to break the icy slate and crush the heart of winter//
Can't hibernate, I lie awake; Another dark December//
My tongue it sparks the ember...then Summer parts the blizzard//
& kills the beast, within a dream where tundras fall to cinders//
Another God dismembered yet another inch we've come//
Didn't budge and signed the treaty with our enemy's blood//
It's love... Cupid's arrow tore my veins apart//
I survived and fed a match stick to my paper heart//
Cut me with your kiss...make sure your fangs are sharp//
Belt that siren song to hide the dawn when days are dark//
I sever heart strings...a matriarch sinks//
Still can't depart from my anchor under these dark seas//
I find solace in the melody your harp bleeds//
But still wary not to drift within your arm's reach//
Won't be lured to the rocks, I'm not a new comer//
I'll put my ship in the dock before it's pulled under//

Block/Faux Pas
your song's another jaw gnashing bones within the concrete,
smothered all you could, now you gotta let the swan breath
clawed feet are gripping with a tactical retreat, like..
(ask her if it seems right), sting another song in me
missing limbs only ever needed to do harm,
the harmony of discontented preachers in the lawn
that are mowing down the innocent, a reach that never lost them..
(reach beneath the street lamp) breathing in the monsters..
Sleep at any cost...
salivating over lies in my pica riddled romance,
wait and see the show of hands.. (calibrate excitement)
might belittle enemies but life's a working sentence..
Chew it up, spit it out,
who's the one that's ripping down every word intended
as incentive to do better??
You.. a siren with her weaknesses, a melody of molded scars,
I never planned keeping it.. you're telling me I know the part
in sequences..
Paresis in her voice reached a point where the needle split
point me on the path where I can sink in to the sea again..

Maybe/Faux Pas
I hate to be the nihilist type...
but... your false idols don't really apply to this life,
I guess another spines hiding where the primate has climbed,
climate aside, I'm pretty confident the fire has died...
I'm tired of trying... when every matron has a ring now,
I caught another angel, but the water weighs her wings down,
(this house), where cupid's arrow pierced a bit of drywall,
I'm sitting on the cloud, while you wait to see the sky fall,
"you love the poem but the author wasn't much of a prince",
you would shrug and let him draw you with his colorful ink,
as you darken every dead leaf on the beautiful rose...
my heart is on the bench seat of a funeral home...
(you wouldn't show) any emotion with illuminating light shows,
and boarded up the door with the accumulating knife holes,
I tried to break the glacier with your fingers in a hold,
but the summer came and flushed away like winter never froze...


Link Of Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=113962

[classthe_king]

I've already fed Cole's



Maybe your verse was great,a couple rhymes I thought were iffy but that's your style so it's all good. Imagery was great as always, as well as the flow. Great job.

[Chet Starr]

Maybe your verse touched me, no homo

Good shit, but what's with the dumb names. If its your new names, then please disregard the dumb part lol

[Maybe]

Maybe your verse touched me, no homo

Good shit, but what's with the dumb names. If its your new names, then please disregard the dumb part lol

Well, I don't have a "stage name", so I go by Maybe. Faux Pas is mine and Block's group name (established in 2010, releasing our first EP this summer). Any other name I'm not sure about.

Also, I'm glad man. I wrote it from the heart...

@Class: Thanks bro. Yeah, my rhymes conflict sometimes but it's how I flow them.

[Chet Starr]

Okay I understand that, its just unsettling to see you go by any else. Like if I went back to my Jesus rap name

[yoshi]

Loved it. It has a tiny bit of the emo feel in it, but nonetheless I loved it. And yeah, it touched me too you plan on recording it? Cause I'd love to hear the audio version

[Block]

Wtf? I didn't post that verse for a collab.. those 4 lines are like a year old. Why was this posted when that's not my verse, and my verse isn't finished?

I told u it's half done...

[Block]

Plus, park bench poets is an album name... Wtf. This doesn't even make sense

[gutawafang]

Holy shit.

[Maybe]

Coleon :

That verse was dope, and it looks pretty well written. the opening lines rhymed perfectly and it did have some quotables, some lines were choppy, though .. but I like this

Block :

I can't feedback this, since it's not done .. but if you planned on finishing it post it here, man cause it looks interesting!

Maybe :

Talk about a flawless flow, didn't even slow down while reading this, and the multi's are genius! really deep shit right here, man

Bottom line : Can't wait for the Faux Pas EP to be released.

Thanks a lot bro. I really hope it lives up to the hype... Though, I'm pretty confident it will.

@guta:


ALSO: Added Blocks official verse! So, BUMP!

[Block]

nobody is going to look now, hahah. Oh well.


Oh, and in my verse, isn't not "as a incentive to do better??" it's 'as incentive to do better'. I know I'm critical, but it really throws off the flow.

And "planned on keeping it"

[Maybe]

nobody is going to look now, hahah. Oh well.


Oh, and in my verse, isn't not "as a incentive to do better??" it's 'as incentive to do better'. I know I'm critical, but it really throws off the flow.

And "planned on keeping it"

You're so anal it almost makes the word gayer.


Anyway, Bump!

[Atone]

i liked the 1st verse, multi's in dangerous ways lol, wish i could hear this in audio, blocks verse was good, i'm guessing there's some meaning to it, but i didn't get it, loved the last, sayy, 10 bars tho, thats where it picked back up for me, and then the 3rd verse, stromg, it's a very strong verse, you guys should do this more often

[ArsheyHaq]

First off, man, you guys are unbelievably talented haha The way you guys use your multies and still remain poetic is just awesome.. I'm sure that was a skill hard to master! But individually:

Coleon
"I try to break the icy slate and crush the heart of winter//
Can't hibernate, I lie awake; Another dark December//
My tongue it sparks the ember...then Summer parts the blizzard//
& kills the beast, within a dream where tundras fall to cinders//
Another God dismembered"

I loved how you started that verse off..sick! Your flow and rhyming was impeccable.

Block/Faux Pas
I really don't know what to quote cuz it was all equally dope haah and it wasn't even done! I can tell you hear rhymes in your head that normally others wouldn't. That's a valuable skill.

Maybe/Faux Pas
"as you darken every dead leaf on the beautiful rose...
my heart is on the bench seat of a funeral home..."
That was superb. I know I've told you this before, but you are VERY descriptive. Everything you depict I can easily imagine, whether I know what you're talking about or not lol


Great work, guys. How old are all of you? And who are you inspirations? I wanna be able to write like this haha

[Maybe]

First off, man, you guys are unbelievably talented haha The way you guys use your multies and still remain poetic is just awesome.. I'm sure that was a skill hard to master! But individually:

Coleon
"I try to break the icy slate and crush the heart of winter//
Can't hibernate, I lie awake; Another dark December//
My tongue it sparks the ember...then Summer parts the blizzard//
& kills the beast, within a dream where tundras fall to cinders//
Another God dismembered"

I loved how you started that verse off..sick! Your flow and rhyming was impeccable.

Block/Faux Pas
I really don't know what to quote cuz it was all equally dope haah and it wasn't even done! I can tell you hear rhymes in your head that normally others wouldn't. That's a valuable skill.

Maybe/Faux Pas
"as you darken every dead leaf on the beautiful rose...
my heart is on the bench seat of a funeral home..."
That was superb. I know I've told you this before, but you are VERY descriptive. Everything you depict I can easily imagine, whether I know what you're talking about or not lol


Great work, guys. How old are all of you? And who are you inspirations? I wanna be able to write like this haha

Thanks a lot man, your feedback/comments are really appreciated. I don't know how old Cole is, but me and Block are in our early 20's. I can't speak for everyone, but my inspiration as far as music goes is Slug (of Atmosphere), and many, many punk rock and alternative bands. Actually, me and Slimm have a thread in General Music (Maybe & Slimms infinite playlist) that has all the newest stuff that I listen to.

Again, thanks a lot for the comments man.

PS: You're writing is pretty dope. I don't think you're writing is inferior to any of this, and as far as I can tell it's the same level, different topics.