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Get Over You

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Get Over You

Postby ArsheyHaq » Jul 28th, '11, 10:19

I definitely rushed this, but felt like it was good enough to post, I guess. Haven't dropped a piece in a minute, so felt like I should. Here ya go.


My eyes look like they've been pepper sprayed/
I haven't slept in days; kept awake/
by these thoughts that sleep deprivate/
can't accept my fate ever since we went our separate ways/
and as this record plays...I start to act depressed/
I gasp for breath; feels like a heart attack, a cardiac arrest/
like shards of glass are carvin' at my chest/
heart broken, it's hard copin', I'd start smoking, but I'ma smart bloke and plus they charge the largest tax on cigarettes/
in school I can't focus; I can hardly pass my tests/
yeah, you know the concept; it's as old as artifacts, but hard to grasp unless-/
you've been through it yourself, but I doubt you have...cuz I'M the one these cards are stacked against!/
look at me, my face is grotesque/
why am I chasin' you? I'm wastin' my breath/
but you make me crazed in the head, and my heart race in my chest/
but like a good Muslim girl you never pay in-ter-est/
I'm basically a pest, now, and have outstayed my welcome; shudda graciously left/
I'll go work on ace-ing my tests/
I lost sense of who I am...guess I better start retracin' my steps/




link of feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=118942
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Sam. » Jul 28th, '11, 12:01

:coffee: this was hurried ? THIS WAS HURRIED? :o :o

Man this shit is dope ,the start was lame but when the transitions started to come up thing's got pretty interesting .
This.
My eyes look like they've been pepper sprayed/
I haven't slept in days; kept awake/
by these thoughts that sleep deprivate/
can't accept my fate ever since we went our separate ways/
and as this record plays...I start to act depressed/
I gasp for breath; feels like a heart attack, a cardiac arrest/
like shards of glass are carvin' at my chest/



i loled at this line .

heart broken, it's hard copin', I'd start smoking, but I'ma smart bloke and plus they charge the largest tax on cigarettes/


good shiyyt keep at it bro . :y:
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Innovation » Jul 28th, '11, 21:14

As with every time I read on of your drops, I'm extremely impressed by how many multies you pack in. Not just that, but how you think of that many whilst not swaying from the topic through forcing one. Fantastic drop. I feel like a ton of your rhymes will go over the average listeners head. :y:


My eyes look like they've been pepper sprayed/
I haven't slept in days; kept awake/
by these thoughts that sleep deprivate/
can't accept my fate ever since we went our separate ways/
and as this record plays...I start to act depressed/
I gasp for breath; feels like a heart attack, a cardiac arrest/
like shards of glass are carvin' at my chest/

I was extremely impressed with that. I mean dude, that's fantastic writing. Keep this up bro.
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Drug.Ballad » Jul 28th, '11, 23:15

I dont always leave comments, but i really liked this peice. Everytime i read a drop from you im always impressed :y:
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Re: Get Over You

Postby ArsheyHaq » Jul 29th, '11, 00:08

Thanks a lot for the kind words everyone :)

Innovation wrote:I feel like a ton of your rhymes will go over the average listeners head.


I don't write for the average listeners anyway lol I write for people like you, who appreciate the time I put in.

TheEminemShow wrote:I dont always leave comments, but i really liked this peice.


For some reason I got the feeling you were gonna say something out of a Dos Equis commercial--- "I don't always drink beer, but when I do..." haha
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Alex2012 » Jul 29th, '11, 00:28

obviously everything is good, but I particularly liked

but you make me crazed in the head, and my heart race in my chest/
but like a good Muslim girl you never pay in-ter-est/


I don't know if it's a personal story but it's quite touching at times.

:y:
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Re: Get Over You

Postby BumShiv » Jul 29th, '11, 02:37

this was hurried ?!?!?!? :worship: This is very sick bro. You should record your shit
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Re: Get Over You

Postby J.R. » Jul 29th, '11, 03:40

Yo, THIS WAS FIRE. :worship: You keep working on that verse of yours for our collab, it's gonna be the shit :smoking:
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Sam. » Jul 29th, '11, 10:54

Innovation wrote:My eyes look like they've been pepper sprayed/
I haven't slept in days; kept awake/
by these thoughts that sleep deprivate/
can't accept my fate ever since we went our separate ways/
and as this record plays...I start to act depressed/
I gasp for breath; feels like a heart attack, a cardiac arrest/
like shards of glass are carvin' at my chest/

ggoodd sshhiitt but as i said doesn't add up to the dopeness that follows these lines . :D
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Re: Get Over You

Postby ArsheyHaq » Jul 30th, '11, 23:08

RecoveryEminem wrote:this was hurried ?!?!?!? :worship:


Lol yes, it was hurried. I'm very unhappy with it, but didn't want to spend any more time dwelling on it. I had a lot more multies for it, and didn't use them because I couldn't figure out how to make them work.
Alex2012 wrote:obviously everything is good, but I particularly liked

but you make me crazed in the head, and my heart race in my chest/
but like a good Muslim girl you never pay in-ter-est/


I don't know if it's a personal story but it's quite touching at times.

:y:


It is a personal story. Practically everything I write is personal and based on real events. And in case the line flew over some people's heads, Muslims aren't supposed to pay "interest" money-wise, and they're not supposed to pay "interest" to the opposite sex unless they're married to the individual. The girl I'm interested in is Muslim, so the line works haha double-entendre
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Maybe » Jul 31st, '11, 06:10

Hauntingly beautifully. Seriously, though, that was an awesome read man. The imagery was evident, the flow was spectacular (as usual), and the content was amusing. You're pro, man.
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Re: Get Over You

Postby PeNGuiN ZoMbiE » Aug 2nd, '11, 02:59

didnt read the comments in case someone said this but i like the imagery a lot. loved the opening lines with the eyes. reminded me of deja vu. kinda felt like you actually went thru it.. though you may have i wouldnt know of course. dont like judging the flow.. cos its on paper and is always subjective depending on the beat. overall nice piece and nice read. and once again i enjoyed the realism of the beginning. that feel got lost for me towards the middle to end but my opinion could change if heard on audio of course. keep it up. :flower:
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Re: Get Over You

Postby Ka0t1c » Aug 2nd, '11, 03:34

nice use of vocab and incorporating them in the multies, good transition other than the part where you say "in school i can't focus" other than that, this is a great piece can't believe you said you rushed it, well done! :y: :y:
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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