Unreleased diss track

[J.R.]

Wrote this recently, was not gonna release it, but fuck it. fuck around and a diss track, not fully diss.
Obviously, this isn't true.

Feed ~ posting.php?mode=reply&f=24&t=121639


Hey yo, this is my love song,
oh wait, no it ain't fuck that shit,
Show her the bait, then abduct that bitch,
It's not rape, It's a fucked up witch,
He ain't gonna say shit, yeah, fuck that snitch,
I'll slaughter that little cockroach,
Fuck him and his daughter, and his cock bro,
It's not gay because I'm just trying to scar him for life
I don't play, stuck him in the car, pulled an Em, and jack-knifed,
He didn't fly out the car, hit his head on the ceiling and lost his life,
Oh shit, look at the pain I've been dealing, oh well, went to his house and shot his wife,
Buried em in a ditch and fucked the bich, she was tight, his cock musta been small,
Smaller than cosh's ripped to shreds, no way it could be bigger than the cock in cosh's jaw,
Yeah, Fuck you cosh, I don't need to read your gay ass thread, Lyrical trinity will slaughter your ass,
No wait, instead, we'll have you write 16 bars and end your own career,
He blows at rapping, but he claims he's not a queer,
Ripped to shreds was a piece of shit, word of advice, you'll never fuck a bitch,
break out the hand lotion and meet your future wife leftie loosey,
or righty tighty, don't matter, you'll never get any pussy,
He probably won't even respond to this thread,
It's nothing personal, I just said the shit that's wrong in my head,
Slaughtered everyone here, and layed his mom into bed,
Goodnight, these are the words, Bshady has said.

[WakeUpShow]

[J.R.]

:laughing:

@ Menzo, this obviously proves he realizes it was for fun...

[J.R.]

Eh, crashing. This was wack, even I'll admit that. Fuck around track.

[WakeUpShow]

I'll leave my hatred of you out of this and critique it like a real piece

*clears throat*

You didn't rhyme at all in the entire piece except for maybe 4 bars. In your one line "He ain't gonna say shit, yeah fuck that snitch" you made absolutely zero sense. If I don't say shit how am I a snitch. You said "Fuck Cosh" or some variable of that line about 10 or so times which shows a lack of variety and lack of personal disses. You also didn't make sense in the line "Smaller than cosh's Ripped to Shreds". That drop was a 16, the average length of a hip-hop verse. And then another line:

Fuck himand his daughter, and his cock bro,

Uhhhhh....no homo?
Over half of your lines were run-on sentences which made your flow suffer. But that doesn't matter because your regular size lines have the shittiest flow anyway.

Hey yo, this is my love song,
oh wait, no it ain't fuck that shit,
Show her the bait, then abduct that bitch,
It's not rape, It's a fucked up witch,

who is "her" ? By the way, the first line doesn't rhyme with the next three. You can't rhyme three lines, it has to be a multiple of two, ex. 2,4,6,8,10 etc. Your vocab was basically nonexistent and there was no personal disses just general battle rhymes. If you hadn't used my name, I would have had NO idea who you were dissing.
In conclusion, I don't know if you're ready to run with the big dogs. Good try though.

[WakeUpShow]

I might respond. But probably not for a week or so if I do.

[J.R.]

It was just for fun, I've been doing this lyrical fuck around tracks.

Seriously, critquie it as a serious piece all you want, but it was lyrically and musically WACK. It was for Fun, just to be...Idk, just to fuck around, and that's what it did. Your name was filler, nothing more. Menzo, Geno, Cream, anyone could have been put there, hell, chief, class, etc.

But they weren't, because I was surfing, your name popped up and boom it got put there.

Seriously, If I wrote a serious diss track or battled you, well, lol...

And btw, everyone here thinks My flow is usually dope. At least I've seen that 8-10 times.

Nice try at dissecting a fuck around track,

hey maybe I'll go lyrically dissect Big weenie before I go to bed

[WakeUpShow]

It was just for fun, I've been doing this lyrical fuck around tracks.

Seriously, critquie it as a serious piece all you want, but it was lyrically and musically WACK. It was for Fun, just to be...Idk, just to fuck around, and that's what it did. Your name was filler, nothing more. Menzo, Geno, Cream, anyone could have been put there, hell, chief, class, etc.

But they weren't, because I was surfing, your name popped up and boom it got put there.

Seriously, If I wrote a serious diss track or battled you, well, lol...

And btw, everyone here thinks My flow is usually dope. At least I've seen that 8-10 times.

Nice try at dissecting a fuck around track,

hey maybe I'll go lyrically dissect Big weenie before I go to bed

wait was that "lol" saying you could beat me because I would tear you a new one. That's not being cocky. I know that, you know that, everyone knows that. And by the way don't post something in the Creative Writing section if you don't want serious feedback.

[J.R.]

I've never been a battler. I wouldn't claim to be, nor would I attempt to be. I'm actually only in the tourney to take a shot at something new, I got bored.

So yeah, suicide would probably tear me a new one and he said himself he's an easy battler to beat.

And btw yes that is being modest.

[WakeUpShow]

well....you want to battle or not?

[J.R.]

well....you want to battle or not?

Obviously not, settle down lol, I literally wrote this track to fuck around, I just needed a name and yours was the first one to pop up . Literally, if anything, this is a get rid of writers block track, I just posted it for lolz.

This is actually laughable to be honest. If I wrote serious, it'd have decent lyricism and good flow, not grandma mather's flow and grandpa mather's rhymes.

[J.R.]

You guys should settle this via battle.

Ruthless, go for it. GO!

I don't have to battle someone I don't care for.



and I'm not a battler , lol.

[WakeUpShow]

You guys should settle this via battle.

Ruthless, go for it. GO!

like I said above, I'm in. But somebody ( I won't mention names! ) is apparently pussying out.

[WakeUpShow]

You guys should settle this via battle.

Ruthless, go for it. GO!

I don't have to battle someone I don't care for.



and I'm not a battler , lol.

uhhhh....that's the whole point.

[J.R.]

You guys should settle this via battle.

Ruthless, go for it. GO!

like I said above, I'm in. But somebody ( I won't mention names! ) is apparently pussying out.

It's not pussying out you hard-headed fuck, it's called I don't battle and know I would suck ass, why make a fool of myself and battle you over a track that was supposed to shake writers block? Cmon son.


Anyone who considers "Still needs to improve before being able to even think about battling" and "Pussying out " the same thing, is fucking ignorant.