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Doubts

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Doubts

Postby Man1x » Aug 10th, '11, 18:31

[Spoken - Intro]

All my life I been called a loser
All my life I been called fat
All my life I been having people having....doubts

[Short Verse]

Alright, I know you all like to converse
Open your minds and feel the pain in this verse
I didn't take time to rehearse
Just here to hit you and spin your head, reverse
Yeah, I curse, but I can choose a recourse
It's called divorcin' my cohorts
Go to into court and fuck the shortie who just turned forty
Yea, it's corny but right now I'm horny
So, now I bust out my skills
I get high on pills
I feel like a can fly over hills
I know I ain't ill
These verse are just fillers
But they support my thoughts like pillars
Now, feel this stone cold emotion
Flowin' out the pen, untold devotion
Music saved my life
If only I could explain it, feed you my strife
Fill your cup with depression
And serve you steak as repression
I'm just here to teach you a lesson
Cause you be begging God to be blessin'

Really just did this off the top my head in five minutes like I do with most of my stuff I post on here.
I feel I've improved in my fast writing but IDK that for you to decide. Would apprciate feed back and I won't get butt hurt about it.
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Re: Doubts

Postby Man1x » Aug 10th, '11, 18:45

Thanks Geno. Thruth is I've never sat down and took time to right complex raps. Only ones I've ever made are the five minute ones I post on here. I feel I've improved cause this is over and beyond my first post imo. I know it wasn't great though. Also, the untold devotion mutli was an accident that came to my head when I was riding in the car. It was good so I wrote it down and kept it. I've used it about five times now in my posts now though so it's getting old to me. I'm just in love with it cause it was purely accident. Anyway I don't know what you mean by feed?


Edit: Oh, it's not real...except for being fat which i was able to work off once I hit 14. Now i'm buff
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Re: Doubts

Postby Man1x » Aug 10th, '11, 18:50

Yea, I'm deef keeping that multi...I'm waiting for the day where I can excute it perfect. Just havn't found that time yet. And, I'll deef give you feedback bro
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Re: Doubts

Postby Sam. » Aug 11th, '11, 13:02

This is a key style right ? so i can say nothing about the structure ,moving on nice work man felt some of the lines real hard ,keep at it . :y: :y:
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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Re: Doubts

Postby Man1x » Aug 11th, '11, 16:19

Yea, it was key style. Thanks for feedback.
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Re: Doubts

Postby BumShiv » Aug 11th, '11, 19:49

damn that shit was nice. It seemed personal so thats a good thing (to me) :y: I liked the fast flow but i felt like the rhymes were to basic. This is my favorite line tho
Now, feel this stone cold emotion
Flowin' out the pen, untold devotion


:happy:
Overall, it was good :y:

Please feed me back
viewtopic.php?f=69&t=121822
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Re: Doubts

Postby Man1x » Aug 11th, '11, 22:13

RecoveryEminem wrote:damn that shit was nice. It seemed personal so thats a good thing (to me) :y: I liked the fast flow but i felt like the rhymes were to basic. This is my favorite line tho
Now, feel this stone cold emotion
Flowin' out the pen, untold devotion


:happy:
Overall, it was good :y:

Please feed me back
viewtopic.php?f=69&t=121822


Thanks, and you had a good beat man.
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