Geno - Token Of My Thanks

[JamaicanPattlez]

Whoa. Nice work you got there! What got me the most is:

So I dedicate this song to you, hoping life will change,
Loathing my dismay, so here's a token of my thanks.

Then the gunshot. Really well done.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Thanks man, glad you liked it. Was debating on whether or not to post this at all tbh lol.

Thanks for the feed.

No problem man, it's good stuff. No worries.

[Sam.]

Dude you never seem to amaze me with your artistic verses ,have to give a round of applause for the use of some strong vocab,they delivered the emotion/message that you were trying to convey ,but there is a problem with it ,when you read it ,the verse flows good but when you actually try it out on a mic those words pose a problem ,well since this is only a text piece we can ignore that ,but what i said is just a technical aspect that's all .

But there is something you need to improve on is the rhyming at the end [you know that very will i know lmfao but ..].

Speakin' to a casket is what I never had envisioned,
My weakness at last, once you sever one's commitment
You're better off not livin' in this environment
Now heaven's spawn you're gettin' that earned retirement,

Although they seem to rhyme but see the "Italics" words (lol a me )and the 1st line rhyme ,irks a little because they are not the same sounding words ,work on that .

[J.R.]

FUCK. This is dope.......Best writer all time in CW.

[J.R.]

Awesome, I can feel the feeling of getting killed already. Return the feed, "Lied to a corner"?

[Sam.]

that's criticism if you can't handle it don't ask for feed from me again.

[Sam.]

I didn't ask, and I'm not saying I don't like criticism, I just don't think you understood that I wasn't rhyming those things.

I understood the multhez ,just my cents you threw away .

[Man1x]

Can someone explain flow to me? I'm kinda new to writing, and I see it tossed around alot. I know it's a rediculous question but I've only listened to Rap for 1 year. Once i understand that I can fully rate it, but you multis were dope

[SliK]

No constructive criticism available. Dope piece.

[Man1x]

I still don't understand that because people would say that I need to work on my flow when I'm not writing on a beat, which I've not yet done

[Man1x]

O I gotcha, thanks for advice man

[FlintSpark]

Nice story line while keeping vocab in tact, One of the better ways to end a verse, and nice flow, overall a great piece bro

[TorieCheng72]

Hey Geno, you are a supreme writer, keep at it. You're words will be read somewhere, by someone who cares. 4 real. Take it easy/ the eagles. There's alot of good tunes out there 2 inspire & enquire bout. Listen, learn, & one day you'll earn. Word.

[TorieCheng72]

TRU

[Ka0t1c]

i like it overall, very poetic style, some rhymes seemed forced tho, cuz the words were vague sounding if you know what i mean, good piece none the less