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Bright Nights

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Bright Nights

Postby Wreck » Sep 2nd, '11, 06:26

I wrote a verse on here called Dark Days, I just thought that I would write a total opposite verse, a more light approach. And also, it's a Bubba Sparks album too.

Feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124299

Was once cold, blunts fold like Tacos with soft shells
I'm a boss, well, I'm happy, you're gay, like Gavin Rossdale
Elated, demonstrated happiness, while going through pain
I just ignore it, sleep through it-snore it, happiness is my cocaine- I just snort it
Grew up in a crazy home, except my Mom kept me safe
At first I was an empty-space, now I'm just a messy case
Is it wrong that at times- insanity is what I enjoy
Among other things, I love this life, and being employed, instead of being destroyed
I wanna give back to the youth, and to the pour, like a glass of milk
It's fucked up that these bastards kill, anyways- in life I'm on the same chapter still
Laughter still is present like Mr. Claus, & anger strikes me w/ different claws
I wipe off the hate if the shitter calls, just cause my Dad is unstable, I'm still not bitter at all
Bright nights, beautiful skies here, as thick as vanilla, just like the '01 film
Now it's time to fill, up my free time, rejoiced with each passing moment, throw up the peace sign still
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Wreck » Sep 2nd, '11, 22:24

Bumpity
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Man1x » Sep 3rd, '11, 05:48

Rhymes = Good, like ya multis and internals.
Lyrical Depth = Good, like the pour/milk line.
Flow = Good for most of it, first bar's internals didn't go with the end rhyme, idk if you intended to even have internals there or if you just wanted that.

Good piece :y:
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Wreck » Sep 9th, '11, 02:59

Eminememy wrote:Rhymes = Good, like ya multis and internals.
Lyrical Depth = Good, like the pour/milk line.
Flow = Good for most of it, first bar's internals didn't go with the end rhyme, idk if you intended to even have internals there or if you just wanted that.

Good piece :y:


Thanks for the feed bro, & yeah I meant to do that. Thank you.
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Sam. » Sep 9th, '11, 12:30

Wreck wrote:Bumpity

LOL ! You need to feed pieces to get feed in return .

Okay ,now to feed your verse....i see you tried the same Internal Rhyme scheme that i once did ,it's good but man i tell ya what it affects the whole flow at points where you do that ,i learnt that when i did that ,
i must say some crazy concept that you put in here man like this
Laughter still is present like Mr. Claus, & anger strikes me w/ different claws
I wipe off the hate if the shitter calls, just cause my Dad is unstable, I'm still not bitter at all


Dope shit right there man ^ .

One thing that i have noticed that you always have big lines in the verse ,it's good until you put some Rhymes in them ,which you did . :y:

Feed me man .
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Wreck » Sep 10th, '11, 04:53

Sam. wrote:
Wreck wrote:Bumpity

LOL ! You need to feed pieces to get feed in return .

Okay ,now to feed your verse....i see you tried the same Internal Rhyme scheme that i once did ,it's good but man i tell ya what it affects the whole flow at points where you do that ,i learnt that when i did that ,
i must say some crazy concept that you put in here man like this
Laughter still is present like Mr. Claus, & anger strikes me w/ different claws
I wipe off the hate if the shitter calls, just cause my Dad is unstable, I'm still not bitter at all


Dope shit right there man ^ .

One thing that i have noticed that you always have big lines in the verse ,it's good until you put some Rhymes in them ,which you did . :y:

Feed me man .
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124863


Thanks for the feed man, I appreciate it. And I try, thanks again. And hell yeah, I'll feed your shit bro. No doubt.
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Re: Bright Nights

Postby Wreck » Sep 10th, '11, 17:59

Fed it, check it out bro.
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