The Rise WRITTEN EP - TRACK 6 THE DEVIL

[Blu]

[VERSE 1]
I've got the looks of a saint, but the mind of a sinner
I've got the body of both, but the goals of a winner
Answer me this, because my souls' gonna win her,
Trust, her lust is like playing with fire
But this time, she isn't playing the liar
We would all do shit for what we desire
Even if it means giving up hope
Or on the streets, living with dope
As my evil instincts begin to get worse
One of the reasons I can't finish a verse
My thoughts gradually graduate
My lots annually add to date
While these thoughts add to weight
Beginning to debate, whether I can deflate
These thoughts, I hate, my rate, is slowly dimming
I'm rappin' this, fans are saying my flow is winning

[HOOK]
What would you do for a little bit?
What would you give for a little bit of that C-O-C-A-I-N-E?
I got to have it, yeah I made it, I'm addicted, yeah I'm fading
(Cause once you cave in, you don't want to leave)

[VERSE 2]
What would you do for a taste of some fame?
Would you be even willing to waste your name?
Sign a contract with blood, end up casket in mud
And then when you're finally being buried
You think you're family was the one that carried
You? It's your final choice, everything has a consequence
Every action, everything becomes a factor
Like Lupe said, you'll never become an actor
As long as you live, you'll never even matter
And I always give, but my attitude likes to scatter
Especially when a new found friendship begins to shatter
I'm running out of thoughts, the ink begins to splatter

[HOOK]
What would you do for a little bit?
What would you give for a little bit of that C-O-C-A-I-N-E?
I got to have it, yeah I made it, I'm addicted, yeah I'm fading
(Cause once you cave in, you don't want to leave)

LINK TO FEED: viewtopic.php?p=1788344#p1788344
LINK TO EP: viewtopic.php?f=71&t=132601

[Sam.]

There is no Link Of Feed.

Add this link to the OP or this thread will be locked.
viewtopic.php?p=1788344#p1788344

[Blu]

link of feed added.
BUMP.

[Sam.]

Inconsistent Rhyme scheme in both the verses.Maintain a 2/3/4/6 Bar Rhyme scheme.The 1st verse was nothing speacial though, pretty simple compared to the second verse which was again pretty much average but had some decent lines.Try and bring some thing fresh as far as the content is concerned.Work on the technicalities brah ,you need more practice (Pfft).

[JamaicanPattlez]

What Sam said, but I liked it. Keep working hard.

[Sam.]

What Sam said, but I liked it. Keep working hard.

Everyone here agrees with me all the time, so I guess maybe next time I’ll feed 1st and leave it for y’ll to quote.

[JamaicanPattlez]

What Sam said, but I liked it. Keep working hard.

Everyone here agrees with me all the time, so I guess maybe next time I’ll feed 1st and leave it for y’ll to quote.

Well, you usually get the nail on the head when feeding, so I just agree if I don't have much to add.

[Sam.]

What Sam said, but I liked it. Keep working hard.

Everyone here agrees with me all the time, so I guess maybe next time I’ll feed 1st and leave it for y’ll to quote.

Well, you usually get the nail on the head when feeding, so I just agree if I don't have much to add.

It's all good bro.

[M&M59]

Maintain a 2/3/4/6 Bar Rhyme scheme.

can sombody explain how that works

[Sam.]

Maintain a 2/3/4/6 Bar Rhyme scheme.

can sombody explain how that works

2 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
B
B

3 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
A
B
B
B

& So on.

[Man1x]

Maintain a 2/3/4/6 Bar Rhyme scheme.

can sombody explain how that works

2 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
B
B

3 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
A
B
B
B

& So on.

I thought you couldn't do it in only with couples of even numbers not odd (i.e. 3 and 5)?

And can't you do rhyme schemes like:

A
A
B
B
B
B
A
A

[Mr.DGAF]

can sombody explain how that works

2 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
B
B

3 Bar Rhyme scheme
A
A
A
B
B
B

& So on.

I thought you couldn't do it in only with couples of even numbers not odd (i.e. 3 and 5)?

And can't you do rhyme schemes like:

A
A
B
B
B
B
A
A

I mean, you can really do anything you want to as long as it's coherent. I think Sam was just breaking down the easier ways to set up a rhyme pattern. You can get all intricate with your stuff, like Eminem would. His lines are really detailed, with the ways he sets his stuff up and all. Like:

A, A, B
A, A, B

And he'd maintain that, sometimes, for over half a verse, or even rarely a full verse.

[Man1x]

I know that, that deals with internal rhymes however I talking about lines, I thought you couldn't have an odd number of bars rhyming.

[Mr.DGAF]

I know that, that deals with internal rhymes however I talking about lines, I thought you couldn't have an odd number of bars rhyming.

My b, misunderstood a bit.

I mean, there's no real rules for that. I've seen people argue over it before, and basically it's accepted that you shouldn't end with an odd number of bars rhyming. At least, that's what I got out of the numerous arguements I've seen about it.

[Sam.]

Read this for basic understanding.