Newer Writing Style Experiment #1

[JamaicanPattlez]

From the Seven Seas to the heavenly skies,
We're all meant to be through the melody's rise,
And multiple kids will hear the crescendo of the note,
There's no culpable sins, no innuendo stays afloat,
And as I sit down and look out of my room,
I wished now that I could cook out this doom and gloom,
So I put on my jeans and then my white knee socks,
Then I would look at the scene seeing the ripe geese flock,
While I walk out the door to explore the urban jungle,
I see my mom's doing the chores from the porch like a muggle,
So I walk to the park and I pull out some paper,
My pen was my wand, and I'm now its Maester,
Then I closed my eyes and saw my dreams unfold,
And I suppose that my life's being streamed and I'm told,
That if I can picture my success, then I've already won this,
Every mission I do my best, so could I just get one wish?

http://forum.trshady.com:80/viewtopic.p ... 6#p1789286

[mdemaz]

Good looks, strangely, I can't see much of a difference after one read, tell me?
Hidden metaphors?

[JamaicanPattlez]

Good looks, strangely, I can't see much of a difference after one read, tell me?
Hidden metaphors?

With this, I was trying to go for a piece where you can envision the progression of the piece.

[mdemaz]

Good looks, strangely, I can't see much of a difference after one read, tell me?
Hidden metaphors?

With this, I was trying to go for a piece where you can envision the progression of the piece.

Ah..

[Sam.]

Then I closed my eyes and saw my dreams unfold,
And I suppose that my life's being streamed and I'm told,
That if I can picture my success, then I've already won this,
Every mission I do my best, so could I just get one wish?

Foking killed it with this lines.Technically sound content wise insane. Vocab was top notch ,"Maester" rarely have I seen anybody use this word.Keep at it.

I did a similar piece where I used that same continuation technique but in a different way altogether.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Then I closed my eyes and saw my dreams unfold,
And I suppose that my life's being streamed and I'm told,
That if I can picture my success, then I've already won this,
Every mission I do my best, so could I just get one wish?

Foking killed it with this lines.Technically sound content wise insane. Vocab was top notch ,"Maester" rarely have I seen anybody use this word.Keep at it.

I did a similar piece where I used that same continuation technique but in a different way altogether.

Thank you bro! Yeah, "Maester" is a word that just popped in my head and I HAD to use it.

[Mr.DGAF]

This is really good dude. The flow and rhymes are great, and I loved your vocab for this drop. The new style is pretty interesting, I could see that you were trying to elevate through each line, and I liked that. Not much else to say man, solid drop. Looking forward to what you're bringing for the tournament.

Return the Favor?

[JamaicanPattlez]

This is really good dude. The flow and rhymes are great, and I loved your vocab for this drop. The new style is pretty interesting, I could see that you were trying to elevate through each line, and I liked that. Not much else to say man, solid drop. Looking forward to what you're bringing for the tournament.

Return the Favor?

Awesome that you picked up on that! #2 Will be another style I'm working on, and by the end of the series, I'm blending the styles all together to make my own.

[J.R.]

I like it, keep it up brother. Dope multis as usual, good flow. I can't pick which style I like more

Rtf?

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132703

[Mr.DGAF]

We're gonna murk this tourney.

We'll see.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Haha thanks B. Nutz! Already did. And lol Geno, think we could?

[Man1x]

always dope my brother, diggin' the style, can't wait to see what your others are anddddd we need to get started on our damn collab son.

[JamaicanPattlez]

always dope my brother, diggin' the style, can't wait to see what your others are anddddd we need to get started on our damn collab son.

Thanks and I know... Lol but I'm trying, I swear!

[Man1x]

always dope my brother, diggin' the style, can't wait to see what your others are anddddd we need to get started on our damn collab son.

Thanks and I know... Lol but I'm trying, I swear!

No problem take your time.

[JamaicanPattlez]

always dope my brother, diggin' the style, can't wait to see what your others are anddddd we need to get started on our damn collab son.

Thanks and I know... Lol but I'm trying, I swear!

No problem take your time.

Cool. It's me building the newer style is all.