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[Track 5] Pretty fucked up

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[Track 5] Pretty fucked up

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 00:28

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132688&p=1789613#p1789613

Jdubem wrote:Thats pretty fucked up. Thats all I can really say.


[Verse 1]
Well J dubem, that's how my brain is, Insane Fuckin', It's backwards,
It's your cells I'm loving, Eat the membrane of em, To the Kids laughter,
Oh I'm sorry, Is my mind a bit unnerving? Maybe you should try to help me out,
Shut the fuck up, or for dinner it your head I'm serving, You got Dealt a foul,
I'm sorry, didn't mean to disoblige, You people seem nice,
I'm gory , I wanna Rip out your eyes, Keep weeping for life,
Your shrieking inside, but on the out you stay calm,
You take your girl by the hand, clench her palm,
You look into her eyes, and you slowly say,
It's B.Nutz in disguise, Time to die bitch, HEY!
Is what you scream, as she schemes up a plan,
She kicks you in the Nutz, and seems to have ran,
You can't find her, can you? She's taunting you man,
She's flaunting her skills, Haunting your will,
Mocking your kills, as she throws down your heads in the hall,
She eats the eyeballs of them, no more on the wall,
And you look her in the eyes, and all you can say,
"Is let's work together, I think I'm in love with you babe"


[Chorus]
I flow like superman,
Fuck multis they aren't everything,
He know that his name rhymes with this line,
But I'll spare him this time,
Hahahaha,
I'm pretty fucked up.


[Verse 2]
Things are going great, til you shove her when you hug her,
Screaming that you love her and above all that will hover,
and save you guys, but you don't see,
That in disguise, is the enemy,
She slowly gets the butcher knife out,
It's looking like you'll be half- Like Kutcher right now,
She comes at you with the intent to kill,
Your shocked at the Supsense and thrill,
Bout to be rocked, it's Intense and real,
Don't like this rhyme? Turn off the Offensive feels,
She dices him up, feeds em to the cats,
She grabs his dick, sticks it in her ass,
Then she laughs, and raps a verse,
She pee's on him, in the hearse,
And all this time, she'd been hiding a secret,
She's a serial killer, could you believe it?
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Re: [Track 5] Pretty fucked up

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 00:31

Geno wrote:You really need to step your rhyme game up, because it's difficult to rap when you're having 1 syllable rhymes or awkward schemes.

Thanks for the feed, I'll keep it in mind. :y:
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Re: [Track 5] Pretty fucked up

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 00:32

Geno wrote:Look forward to seeing more pieces. :y:

Sorry about everything. I feel stupid for not noticing the subliminal diss in one of your tracks. Cool?
:b:
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Re: [Track 5] Pretty fucked up

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 20th, '11, 00:47

Like said before, ya gotta work on your rhyming and bar structure. Verse 2 was a better execution of that. I like it though, keep it up!
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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Re: [Track 5] Pretty fucked up

Postby Sam. » Oct 20th, '11, 19:49

Geno wrote:You really need to step your rhyme game up, because it's difficult to rap when you're having 1 syllable rhymes or awkward schemes.

^ Read this carefully.

The feel of Horror-Core was there but the content (the story line) was itself very redundant ,you did a song with the same theme ,that is killing bitches.

Horror-Core is not always about killing people.

Heard of Rhyme Asylum ?
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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