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Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

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Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 25th, '11, 06:04

How am I bound to this dirty cursed Earth?
A pal of mine found this new nerdy pure thirst,
He delved in knowledge, he's facing hell at college,
And shelves his problems, now chasing tail from models,
Reformed loser with a booster, he games bitches at Hooters,
Reads porn on the shooter, then plays a woman and fooled her,
Meanwhile I'm here watching shit unfold,
"He's wild I hear" the mocking bitch cunt's flow,
It got old, so he pined to shine his real sick side,
He sighed then tried lying about this shield chicks hide,
He called himself a Guru, but you'd think the shit's voodoo,
And who knew dudes who would pay for this cheap doo-doo?
But then, life is funny, and I tried the shit out,
And now I found out why guys carried its clout,
They were known to those men as the Pick Up Artists,
Who made the throne your bed, and got your dick sucked hardest.

http://forum.trshady.com:80/viewtopic.p ... 2#p1792432
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby Words » Oct 25th, '11, 16:13

Very good, slick multies- made the piece flow very well

JamaicanPattlez wrote:He delved in knowledge, he's facing hell at college,
And shelves his problems, now chasing tail from models,
Reformed loser with a booster, he games bitches at Hooters,
Reads porn on the shooter, then plays a woman and fooled her,

Favorite part there, like the multies :y:
Really no criticism here, good work as always Pattlez
Mind feeding back? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132951
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 25th, '11, 17:23

Thank you sir! Already feeded. :y:
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby ilovebender.com » Oct 26th, '11, 18:22

JamaicanPattlez wrote:How am I bound to this dirty cursed Earth?
A pal of mine found this new nerdy pure thirst,
He delved in knowledge, he's facing hell at college,
And shelves his problems, now chasing tail from models,
Reformed loser with a booster, he games bitches at Hooters,
Reads porn on the shooter, then plays a woman and fooled her,
Meanwhile I'm here watching shit unfold,
"He's wild I hear" the mocking bitch cunt's flow,
It got old, so he pined to shine his real sick side,
He sighed then tried lying about this shield chicks hide,
He called himself a Guru, but you'd think the shit's voodoo,
And who knew dudes who would pay for this cheap doo-doo?
But then, life is funny, and I tried the shit out,
And now I found out why guys carried its clout,
They were known to those men as the Pick Up Artists,
Who made the throne your bed, and got your dick sucked hardest.

http://forum.trshady.com:80/viewtopic.p ... 2#p1792432

It's alright, the flow seemed kinda of slow and laid back, like Biggie Smalls, to me.
I'm from South London from Westminster to the back streets of Thornton Heath.
Off Brigstock Road.

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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 27th, '11, 02:40

GameTheory wrote:That shit's tight man, sick flow and slick internals all across the piece. Flowed like a charm, and I can see why this is a new writing style cause its structure feels a bit different from your other work, and the style overall. It was a great read and a great concept, no real criticism. Good job. :b:


Thank you! Glad you liked it, and yes as you can see, it's completely different from my usual. I made sure to be very picky with my syllables this time around, and made the rhyming flowed smoothly. :y:
@ilovebender.com Yeah, I was going for a flash of Biggie here, awesome that you caught it! :y:
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby J.R. » Oct 27th, '11, 15:55

Sick flow, internals, etc. Some reason I like your first style better. How many are you doing?
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 27th, '11, 18:55

B.Nutz wrote:Sick flow, internals, etc. Some reason I like your first style better. How many are you doing?

Thanks! I'm thinking 2-3, but it depends on how busy I am.
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 28th, '11, 04:25

Geno wrote:Don't like the concept, but that's just me.

Dope though. I liked how you were trying to rhyme a lot, but if it's not there, don't force it, 'cause it's noticeable if you do.

Mind hitting me back? :y:


Fair enough, thanks. :y: Will do!
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 28th, '11, 08:01

Menzo wrote:Great execution of internals my man, and the flow was on point. I liked the way you described this fellow throughout. I got nothing really to critique, to be honest..just start recording lol



Haha thanks man! LOL, everyone's telling me to nowadays. I will, I will... I just need equipment, and actual skill spitting it. :p I intend eventually recording for Canada's sake, we need better emcees...
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 28th, '11, 08:20

Menzo wrote:
JamaicanPattlez wrote:
Menzo wrote:Great execution of internals my man, and the flow was on point. I liked the way you described this fellow throughout. I got nothing really to critique, to be honest..just start recording lol



Haha thanks man! LOL, everyone's telling me to nowadays. I will, I will... I just need equipment, and actual skill spitting it. :p I intend eventually recording for Canada's sake, we need better emcees...


Word! For Canada's sake, I'm practicing on the mic now and the sooner you and Geno and any other decent Canadian on TR starts spitting, the better.



Agreed. Man, whatever to this "Shad" guy, apparently he's the GOAT of Canada, but I've never heard of him before this year. Classified's lame, Kardinal I accept, and Drake isn't what we'd call hard...
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby Mr.DGAF » Oct 28th, '11, 16:08

I really like this man, but can I ask which style you plan on sticking with? Or will you just keep implementing them differently to keep them in your arsenal? Anyways, this piece is hot.

How am I bound to this dirty cursed Earth?
A pal of mine found this new nerdy pure thirst,
He delved in knowledge, he's facing hell at college,
And shelves his problems, now chasing tail from models,


That was my favorite part. After that, I had some trouble flowing to it a couple times, but I think I've got it now. It'd really help to hear you spit this on a mic, and I know you've been hearing that a lot lately, and it's a compliment. When you're trying to do some different, unique stuff with flows, it's sometimes hard to pick up. And even if you can't spit it with a mic, try writing to beats. That's what I'm going to start doing, I've realized it makes the flow immensely easier to pick up for others when you write to a beat. But that's up to you, and like I said, this piece is really good. Just trying to give you some stuff that everyone else hasn't already fed with. :D

Also, you mind feeding Geno and I's new piece?

Eternal Nightmares
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 28th, '11, 16:29

Mr.DGAF wrote:I really like this man, but can I ask which style you plan on sticking with? Or will you just keep implementing them differently to keep them in your arsenal? Anyways, this piece is hot.

How am I bound to this dirty cursed Earth?
A pal of mine found this new nerdy pure thirst,
He delved in knowledge, he's facing hell at college,
And shelves his problems, now chasing tail from models,


That was my favorite part. After that, I had some trouble flowing to it a couple times, but I think I've got it now. It'd really help to hear you spit this on a mic, and I know you've been hearing that a lot lately, and it's a compliment. When you're trying to do some different, unique stuff with flows, it's sometimes hard to pick up. And even if you can't spit it with a mic, try writing to beats. That's what I'm going to start doing, I've realized it makes the flow immensely easier to pick up for others when you write to a beat. But that's up to you, and like I said, this piece is really good. Just trying to give you some stuff that everyone else hasn't already fed with. :D

Also, you mind feeding Geno and I's new piece?

Eternal Nightmares



I've written to beats, haha. Thanks! Actually, my next piece I'm writing on right now is working with a rather familiar beat we've all come to known and love. :smoking: Well, not really, but it's a MMLP Instrumental. And I fed ya bro! :y:
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby Mr.DGAF » Oct 28th, '11, 17:07

Oh haha, dang. I must've missed it, but at any rate, definitely looking forward to the next drop. I love pretty much every MMLP beat, so I'm pumped to see which one you're writing to. :y:
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 28th, '11, 17:32

Mr.DGAF wrote:Oh haha, dang. I must've missed it, but at any rate, definitely looking forward to the next drop. I love pretty much every MMLP beat, so I'm pumped to see which one you're writing to. :y:


Haha fuck it, I'll spoil it. Bitch Please II. :smoking:
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Re: Newer Writing Style Experiment #2

Postby Mr.DGAF » Oct 28th, '11, 17:35

JamaicanPattlez wrote:
Mr.DGAF wrote:Oh haha, dang. I must've missed it, but at any rate, definitely looking forward to the next drop. I love pretty much every MMLP beat, so I'm pumped to see which one you're writing to. :y:


Haha fuck it, I'll spoil it. Bitch Please II. :smoking:



That beat is pretty fantastic, now I'll just have to wait and see how you go in on it. :whistle:
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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