I Dont Care

[Spyder]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133697 LOF

My bars tarnish and slice fetus, every notion I write, thesis
Pen sparks the paper, every Thought Fire like pyro-telekinesis,
Ill settle this beef shit like a renegade demented yet sane
Cemented my name with an ill flow in my venomous veins.
Represent games with flames, I know ive said it often
Cause when I get Physical, Turn your Head… and Coffin!!
If your hearts still beatin, best believe im commin after ya
Youll get Bodied Fast like a Cadaver in an Acura,
Grab a bat sneakin, leave you beaten when I batter ya
Now your Problems you Lack Function like Parabolas!!

Joe Budden
I just let em all go ahead and speak my name
How far you gonna reach for fame
Go ahead and fuck up your career
… I don’t care

We live in a cold world and we tryin to make it out, ima linger a bit
Ill Show ya an unexpected Hit like giving Jerry Springer a kick – get it?
Married to this Game, but forget the ring and the shit
Ill slice my own off, sept one so the middles all I can Finger her with!
That’s a double meaning, basically sayin rap… I fucked her twice
While all y’all watch me jaunt down the isle, chuck-in rice. HA
Cause while you man the Corona’s I command the controllers,
So my name Strike Frames like World Champion Bowlers!!
I think your panties all rolled up, I aint here for the fame and shit
But I still bring Life in this Bitch… I just think it Came too Quick!

Joe Budden
I just let em all go ahead and speak my name
How far you gonna reach for fame
Go ahead and fuck up your career
… I don’t care

Propane saliva spittin saunas so hot the devil be sweatin me
If you think your Dope you must be High, ill end you with an X-to-see!
And put a Cross on your chest like a Vampire, you eager to battlin
But my Reflections the same, so you cant possibly Mirror the Talent!!
These guys talk hard with Rock Hard verses that are taperin off
Funny thing is, is that my Paper beats Rock!
I patiently watch and laugh as they poppin off with they jaws
Claimin they Heated but their whole facades a Mirage.
No need for judgin youd tap out after one rappin bout
You gon’ slit my throat? Go ‘head and watch a diss track come out!
-hahaha-

Joe Budden
I just let em all go ahead and speak my name
How far you gonna reach for fame
Go ahead and fuck up your career
… I don’t care

[Sam.]

What about our collab?

This is definitely the best piece I've read in a while, thank you for the treat. Not only did this raise my eyebrow's but made me think at least twice as to what is being said. Technically this is untouchable like a leporsy patient. I found a lot of Punches and mind blowing Word Plays in this piece and every next line that followed was better than the previous one. Really dude, every line stood out. Reading this verse I can see the various patters that you used in making those dope ass punches. You didn't had to put those words in Capital letters to give a hint, every one prolly would understand what you're trying to say.

Ill slice my own off, sept one so the middles all I can Finger her with!
That’s a double meaning, basically sayin rap… I fucked her twice

This was dope as fuck, the 1st bar and the way you explain it in the next is just marvelous.

If you think your Dope you must be High, ill end you with an X-to-see!

Nice wordplay in the end.

Killed it.

[Spyder]

thanks bro

and send me your verses and ill drop ours next man

[SG.]

I basically agree with Sam. Your punches, word play and all that is brilliant, but you need to stop pointing it out. I've been listening to this song a lot lately so you grabbed my attention. Since the Battle Zone tourney, you've been writing A LOT, and it annoys me that your stuff is getting ignored. Tip: start feeding other pieces. Like this one: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133685

[Spyder]

alot of the punches i do arnt as obvious as they may be in this piece. i do the capitals to point them out yes but you dont even notice. you see the word is capital while reading and just know it has to do with the punches.

im getting slept on because people dont know how to critique, not being arrogant but there are more noobs who really dont know how to help someone like me improve ya know? ive been feeding a lot more.
but dont post your own link to your track in my thread man. ill feed your stuff dont worry, but feed the drop your gonna feed, and dont do it just for a return feed favor

[Mr.DGAF]

I mean, as typical, this is really good. Everyone's saying it, and it's true, wordplay is most definitely your strong suit. The way you maneuver each multi smoothly in the verse while maintaining the topic (though for this track, that was a bit easier than usual) is something to be reckoned with. The acura line man, damn, that was my favorite part of the entire thing. The way it rolled out while I was reading it, dang homie.

I'd personally like to see you branch out though honestly. Most everything I've read from you is similar in content, but I may have missed a piece. If that's the case, then sorry, but if not, I'd really like to see you tackle some different subjects.

But this piece is quite nice man, you've gotten to a point where it's really hard to ask you to improve on anything.

[Spyder]

thanks guys.

when i get done posting the Ep stuff ill post different topics. its just this was either Punches or Horrorcore.

@Geno i got a track with a hook coming up

@DGAF. i use to do alot of Emo stuff, i dont really know if it was good or not, but i never felt as sad as the pieces were so it was false emotion. i write horrorcore or punches anytime any mood, and i listen to those types of artist most so thats what comes to me. im currently working on a semi Emo piece/upcoming so look out for that