Notice Me

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Just a short, fucked up song.

(Chorus)
Woe is me/
For you to notice me I'll go to extremes/
Watch you at night from my hotel suite/
So go to sleep!...so to speak...

I'm an animal unless I've got laid/
but you see, I never have to impress my hot dates/
just stretch the scotch tape/
over her face while she's goin' on about "Oh, I guess I lost weight"/
and stick my dick in her ass...it's how I checks her prostate/
as she begs to God, "Wait!/
Think about what you're doing!!" Oh, I have...very methodically/
carefully plotting, see, periodically/
I'd follow you home and stare erotically/
at your bare body from the Marriot located there across the street/

(Chorus)
Woe is me/
For you to notice me I'll go to extremes/
Watch you at night from my hotel suite/
So go to sleep, so to speak...
(Bridge)
These rhyme scheeemes
make me forget the crime sceeenes

The plan was to borrow some milk and sugar/
she denied, so I killed the hooker!/
even with her eyes gouged out, she's still a looker/
just call me Bill The Butcher/
all's I wanted was to make a cake with some brown sugar, but "Hooker, now I'ma make you pay!"/
should I cook her now while I bake souffle?/
Nah, took her down to the Naples Bay/
wrapped her foot around with an ankle weight/
looked around, yah, it's safe to say/
I can push her out, and should she drown, then I'm booking town with a fake toupee/
but till then let's b-b-boogie down till the break of day!!/


LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=147685

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Lol I know it's not THAT fucked up, but it's not normal either haha I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've been writing for years now. I usually write to whatever flow I have in my head at the time. When I start making my own beats I'll post them along with my verses. Anyway, if we're so similar maybe we should collab sometime..?

[Eedee]

Okay, I got the flow for this one, especially the first verse. The assonance and multies were great as well as that horrorcore, creepy imagery. The line about staring from the Marriot across the street was just so... perfect. Fuckin' loved it.

Definitely write to a beat, get your structure down and you'll be set!

[ShadysDisciple]

Dude this is dope as fuck. Really liked it, but I would've loved to have it alongside some creepy, eery beat. Anyways, nice job, and like Eedee said, write to a beat and we'll be able to catch your flow better!