Insecurities

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Just a rough draft of a song I'm working on. Would love some feedback.

(Chorus)
Insecurities since I'm surely not gonna participate in intramural activities
insecurities since I'm surely not gonna participate in intramural activities
insecurities have finished me early

I'm not happy, these are just my acting chops/
I can't sleep like I just drank a caffeine shot/
all my life I never did have a lot, been a laughing stock/
and I'm still feelin' the affects like an aftershock/
it's why I go from yellow to red (grr) quicker than a traffic stop/
one day, though, I'll be so high on the charts you couldn't graph the plots/
they'll call me astronaut, cuz I'll be so out of this world--and around the whole galaxy/
right now, though, I'm bound by reality/
why am I chowing on salad, countin' my calories?/
why does it matter what's the amount of my salary?/
it's got me doubtin' my talents, see/
it's why I multitask to distract from my tumultuous past that's/
been more scarring than sulfuric acid/
it prevents me from bashin' your skull,
turning your ass into mulch,
when my head explodes like volcanic ashes/
I had an adulterous dad chasin' after voluptuous asses/
in this culture, it clashes, but I pulled through it fast cuz/
my glass house is made from bulletproof glasses!/


LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=147875

[Mr.DGAF]

Damn man, the flow in the middle is awesome. With only four posts I'd expect some amateurish stuff but it's pretty obvious you've written before. This was quite nice sir, lots of good lines and wit. I liked the traffic stop and graph the plots lines, pretty nice man.

[Broken Beats]

nice writing

[Eedee]

For a forum noobie, this was really good. You've written before it seams. Nice multies and some pictures in there, for sure.

Only thing I'd say is to write to a beat and get the flow down and you're golden.

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Thank you, everyone. I appreciate it. And maybe for my next drop I'll write to an actual beat so it's easier to follow along for ya'll.

[Blu]

Wasn't bad at all, flowed pretty nicely.

Also liked the, "Why am I chowing on salad, countin' my calories?/
why does it matter what's the amount of my salary?" line.