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a rhyme i made

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a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 16th, '12, 00:18

the incredible red hulks back strong/to tell you if you get in the way of my happiness your get all crapped on/I'll detonate with anger my calm exterior will crack to pieces/no fury bomb retrievers such as cigarettes will stop my temper exploding/hey whats this guys problem oh him hes a xenaphobe him/i got that man beating up so bad i gave him amnesia/though his unconscious mind reminds this man to fear me/look at him fast walking it looks like he shit his pants nearly/i may not be the strongest guy in the world but i'll always stand up for myself/if you dont back down before i delve into blind anger your gonna regret it/cos i have no control after my caged monsters let go when hes let rip/a fit of madness i go into my sane thinking disappears/so tell this shit talking guy to shut his ass i mean face mute his lips/before I do it for him in an agry state and put my boot in it... before i detone
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 16th, '12, 00:20

constructive criticism please
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby B.A.D. » Nov 16th, '12, 04:20

maybe you should leave feedback on someone else before
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 16th, '12, 23:15

B.A.D. wrote:maybe you should leave feedback on someone else before

huh? im sorry im new here what does what you said mean?
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby ImANoob » Nov 16th, '12, 23:16

give other people feedback before asking for feedback brahhhhh
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby SajN » Nov 16th, '12, 23:21

righfield wrote:
B.A.D. wrote:maybe you should leave feedback on someone else before

huh? im sorry im new here what does what you said mean?

Hi. What he means is that we have a rule where you have to give someone else feedback on their song, before you can ask for feedback on your own. After you've given feedback, copy the link to that thread, and paste it in your opening post. If you don't, this thread will be closed.
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby ray k-47 » Nov 16th, '12, 23:28

Nice I like the last part a lot... Go check dis out for me please..
viewtopic.php?f=71&t=150653&p=2036899&hilit=13+year+old+rapper#p2036899
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 16th, '12, 23:50

SajN wrote:
righfield wrote:
B.A.D. wrote:maybe you should leave feedback on someone else before

huh? im sorry im new here what does what you said mean?

Hi. What he means is that we have a rule where you have to give someone else feedback on their song, before you can ask for feedback on your own. After you've given feedback, copy the link to that thread, and paste it in your opening post. If you don't, this thread will be closed.

so i give others constructive criticism or think there dope that makes this thread ok and can u explain the copy/paste thing u said a bit more as i dont get it sorry man
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 17th, '12, 00:15

Basketball, lads get tall and jam it in the basket
Tennis, don`t lob to much or i`ll slam it with a racket,
Snooker, Jimmy White`s a legend also known as whirlwind,
Ice Skating, Men look gay, but get to make the girl spin,
Rugby, Scrums get ugly and some lugs be collieflower
Soccer, Gerard`s a God, won the F.A cup with volley power
Cricket is shit kid, I`d rather watch the grass grow
Darts, Phil The Power Taylor`s master with a class throw!! i love 4ds multis here um is this ok is my thread goood you can tell im a TRS newbie lol
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby SajN » Nov 17th, '12, 00:41

righfield wrote:so i give others constructive criticism or think there dope that makes this thread ok and can u explain the copy/paste thing u said a bit more as i dont get it sorry man


Yes, you have to give constructive criticism to someone first.
Look at this thread: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=148450

The OP has written LOF and then has a link, LOF means Link Of Feedback. The thread in the link, is the thread that the OP gave a constructive feedback in. So in order to post a verse himself, he has to include the link to that thread so he can show that he has given feedback to somebody.

Was it better now?
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 17th, '12, 01:16

yh i think i get it now but when i came on to this part of the forum it wasent very active so have i got to go through the archives of posts to link thier posts into mine to be able to make a thread
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby SajN » Nov 17th, '12, 01:18

Just give feed to any new thread you see in this section, anything that isn't more than three months old.
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Re: a rhyme i made

Postby righfield » Nov 17th, '12, 01:21

SajN wrote:Just give feed to any new thread you see in this section, anything that isn't more than three months old.

ok thanks :y:
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