Trying to get back at it!

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=148450&p=2044256#p2044256
BEAT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMlVayY4ecU

What s up guys havent written in a long time, just trying to get back into it, I know this isnt up to par with my old stuff but hopefully I'll get back into it! I know the syllables dont add up but it flows alright I'll post the beat anyway! Please criticize as much as possible so I can know what to improve! PEACE!

Wicked thoughts in my mind of given bombs to the blind
and saying give this to your momma tonight
I'm the sickest whose spitting these writtens top of the line
and I'm given you bitches some shit to rock with tonight
So listen and witness this sinners hostile mind
I'm ripping it infinite no stopping my vibe
I'm releasing the demons you see the monster inside
Jesus is speaking on how I lost it cause I drop bombs on the mic
Im knocking at his door but gods locking it tight
cause he knows when I get in Ill be causing a riot
I got a hellish side well I might be hypnotic and the devil combined
theres a spell on my mind that compells me to write
and a pain that has stayed cause I held it in tight
when you take him away yeah you melted my life
now I'm crazy deranged and I tell it in rhyme
its my horror core corridor welcome inside!

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Bump

[Eedee]

I couldn't really get the flow on my first try but I think I got it after that.

The lyrics were nice, had some nice multis but as you said, some of the syllables didn't line up. But I know you can fix that in future drops, you have the talent to do so.

Nice return verse, I liked it for what it was. Keep 'em coming, dude.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Thanks for the feed bro, I feel you on the flow, I'm just posting in the CW until I get my apartment then I'll be mainly recording so hopefully that wont be a problem if I can actually get the piece to flow good, Once I start getting my skillz back I'll be hitting you up with a topic maybe we can collab on an Audio Piece! MEans a lot !

[Eedee]

Thanks for the feed bro, I feel you on the flow, I'm just posting in the CW until I get my apartment then I'll be mainly recording so hopefully that wont be a problem if I can actually get the piece to flow good, Once I start getting my skillz back I'll be hitting you up with a topic maybe we can collab on an Audio Piece! MEans a lot !

For sure we can collab for an audio track!

[Mr.DGAF]

Nice! I liked this. There were some kinks, the hostile mind part threw me off a bit. But this was nice man, your writing has a unique feel to it. The way the rhymes come out are different from anyone I've seen that writes here, it's definitely got your own vibe to it.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Thanks man means a lot!! Lately it seems like it takes me a lot longer to write a verse than it used to. Oh well Hopefully we will get some more competitions going on in here!

[Hopsinshadie]

good stuff, yo

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=151848