The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

"Demons"

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

"Demons"

Postby Halftongue Dre » Aug 22nd, '13, 01:08

Needless to say what's a demon?
Cause I think its the uneven ground beneath you when your sinking
Deeper into lust if you let it deepen
So keep it up and you'll feel cheated
Like she did this and he did that
So why am I the one receiving this kind of treatment?
Its weak and I really don't need it
Like a crack in the teeth hoping nobody sees it
So you don't speak up and only speak about what's evil
A devil creature and can't seem to keep it a secret
Like did you hear what he did?
Cause she did
Said she was even their when she seen it
And now your eager to believe them
Cause you got a demon in your closet and you keep feeding it all your time till its eaten
Frequently like you need to
A reason to ease up and begin to weasel
Your way out of this region
Cause you keep surrounding yourself with a legion of heathens
And its beginning to beat you down to your weakest
Even in your dreams they try to communicate with and teach you
What it means when you have mental diseases
An unnatural passion to have a threesome with little green-men in a museum in front of a policeman
Shouldn't even speak of the evil that they dream up and do in secret
Cause their just storytellers here to confuse you to believe it
Occupying bodies of astrology trying to read you your fate saying its been defeated
But that's all fake and really who needs it
Nope don't need them so they can keep it
And save it for someone else who wants to sell them their freedoms
But not me cause all I need is Jesus to come release me from these demons..
Last edited by Halftongue Dre on Oct 9th, '13, 06:34, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Halftongue Dre
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Aug 14th, '12, 13:36
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby CanadaPure » Aug 24th, '13, 07:03

PM me or another moderator a Link of Feedback and this will get re-opened.
Image
That was me in BK on Atlantic. (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ ☜(゚ヮ゚☜) BasedSig
User avatar
CanadaPure
Cumlord Mila
Cumlord Mila
 
Posts: 6498
Joined: Oct 15th, '11, 03:38
Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby CanadaPure » Aug 25th, '13, 02:52

Image
That was me in BK on Atlantic. (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ ☜(゚ヮ゚☜) BasedSig
User avatar
CanadaPure
Cumlord Mila
Cumlord Mila
 
Posts: 6498
Joined: Oct 15th, '11, 03:38
Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby Atone » Aug 25th, '13, 05:57

i could imagin a weird monolog of a spooky child reciting these lyrics during a creepy scene in a horror movie, or maybe the intro to a horror core album

but i like this, just don't see it being used as a freestyle, maybe i didn't catch the flow
Image
User avatar
Atone
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4855
Joined: Jun 1st, '10, 08:47
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby Halftongue Dre » Aug 25th, '13, 08:25

Just wrote what the Lord wanted me to write about and just kept it as real as I could. Did some research on traits of demons and wrote accordingly. I thought it came out pretty good. Thanks for the feedback brother..
User avatar
Halftongue Dre
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Aug 14th, '12, 13:36
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby Just Silver » Oct 2nd, '13, 00:13

really different approach but way better than your usual multi cypher
great vocabulary when reading it over imagery was somewhat biblical

structure was weird but helped your flow alot i liked it although im not into this type of writing but still interested
Image
User avatar
Just Silver
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7791
Joined: Jun 27th, '09, 03:40
Location: East Coast
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby Halftongue Dre » Oct 2nd, '13, 01:55

Thanks man
User avatar
Halftongue Dre
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Aug 14th, '12, 13:36
Gender: Male

Re: "Demons"

Postby 4Corners » Oct 2nd, '13, 03:02

Interesting writing, I think it'd be hard to fit all those words into each bar on an actual beat though.
4Corners
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1405
Joined: Aug 30th, '13, 13:50

Re: "Demons"

Postby Halftongue Dre » Oct 3rd, '13, 21:18

thanks but who knows lol..
User avatar
Halftongue Dre
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Aug 14th, '12, 13:36
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users