Short Rap

[Flamez]

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=164163&p=2343095

Fire is what I spit when I write shit
Look at this bitch I’m a social misfit
Admit it hypocrite your pussy drips
My eclipse is causing an apocalypse
Emitting the sound of battleships
Zoned in on this trip ready for war
I’m hardcore like a lion a carnivore
Swarm of army ants inside of me
Back away before u become debris
And trust me you’ll be my next feast
Cease everything it’s the king of beasts
Knocked out in one hit u already deceased
Bitch you’re like a vaginal yeast infection
I’m a resurrection a very lethal injection
The insurrection against me isn’t gon’ work
Catch my drift u fuckin' jerk it's my masterwork
Hell has risen I’ve arrived n’ gone violently berserk

[Eedee]

Sweet and simple. Some nice internal multi schemes thrown in there, but nothing too big. Mostly just random thoughts conglomerate haha.

I liked it, though.

[Just Silver]

some cool random short lines didnt understand the eclipse line

liked the vocab mines lacking the short flow is enjoyable

cant give too much advice too short just remember ive been told this as well "dont sacrifice rhyming for making sense"

also flow is easier when lines are smaller either way great seein activity in cw

[Flamez]

Yeah, it's mostly random thoughts lol

but thank you both.

[Words]

Good rhyming, not super complex but solid flow throughout. Didn't seem to be any real message with it but I'm guessing that's just because it was a short verse that you just sorta through together. Really liked the overall flow and mechanics of the piece, good work.

[Broken Beats]

[Flamez]

Good rhyming, not super complex but solid flow throughout. Didn't seem to be any real message with it but I'm guessing that's just because it was a short verse that you just sorta through together. Really liked the overall flow and mechanics of the piece, good work.

Yeah short verse haha thanks man.

[VintageSlimBish]

Whats it with all of you forcing random words in your songs. It doesn't even make sense, what's the point of the song?
Not singling you out OP, my advice is, if you are just writing a verse, with as much complicated rhymes as you can, good job.
If your goal was to represent yourself, and a story,
Go back to the writing board.

My advice, use words you use in real life, that whole dictionary pick and choose shit is getting annoying.
Which is why the mainstream is filled with rappers who can deliver, but have shitty rhymes, and the undergrounds filled with uncharismatic, unimportant complex rhymers. How about writing a complex rhyme thats from you, and adds some flavor to what people give a fuck about.
If you take my advice, you will go further then you will if you dont.

And btw, op your rhymes arent complex eithet, so its just garbage. Swarm of ants inside of you?
This is feedback that will make you better at your hobby, dont take it to heart.

[Halftongue Dre]

q for quality..

[Minimii]

is i the only one who noticed that the first letters spell "flamez is back bitch"?

[CanadaPure]

is i the only one who noticed that the first letters spell "flamez is back bitch"?

he fuckin bolded it for a reason muttafukka.

[CanadaPure]

is i the only one who noticed that the first letters spell "flamez is back bitch"?

he fuckin bolded it for a reason muttafukka.

[Minimii]

is i the only one who noticed that the first letters spell "flamez is back bitch"?

he fuckin bolded it for a reason muttafukka.

but y no body no comment nothing